The Valentine for every other day of the year

This morning I was preparing for my bible study and read these words by Beth Moore.

"Never forget how much He loves you and how zealously He pursues your company."

I was brought to tears. For those of you who know my reputation...yes, tears.
The fact that God loves me is usually just that. A dry fact floating around with all of the other facts in my brain. 3 x 7 = 21. AU is Gold. A verb is an action word. God loves me. 1682 - Peter the Great is Tzar of Russia...But this morning it came ALIVE for me! I realized that God gave me my husband Dave to poignantly illustrate this astounding truth for me every day.

I have a really hard time believing anyone would/could love me more than tolerantly. I know my faults. I know my history. Yet the Holy Spirit confirms and validates the words of Beth Moore. My spirit screams out, "Yes! It's true. She's right!! She is, after all, echoing the Word of God."

Some would say my husband is demanding. He isn't. He is jealous though. Extremely jealous. There is no doubt that he loves me and considers me his most precious treasure, his best friend, and closest confidant. He is loyal to the endth degree.

In my selfishness and my stubbornness, I get irritated with his desire to be with me ALL THE TIME!
But when I see my husband's love for me as a picture or shadow of Christ's love for me, I am utterly humbled.

I know that loving me is sometimes like curling up with a porcupine, and I am ashamed of my unloveliness. What a sweet gift God gave me this morning! What a valuable treasure God has given me in my husband. What an absolutely scandalous love He has for me!! He zealously pursues my company...Wow.

Whirling Dervish

Oh Father, I confess to You that after all these years of marriage, I don't know how to be a help meet. I catch glimpses and visions of it, but in the morning, I can't remember what it really looks like, tastes like, feels like, sounds like. What, at times is crystal clear, gets lost in the fog of life. After years of teaching and counseling and talking about how to be a godly wife, I stand before you with an overwhelming sense that You are shaking Your head and saying, "Child, you still don't get it do you?"

I feel like a whirling dervish
spinning in circles with arms outstretched and flailing
grasping at anything shiny and bright.
Stop me Lord!
Teach me stillness
Content me in Your presence
Fill my heart with Your radiance
Make me invisible
Shine through me Lord
Make me what he needs
Help me to help him be what You've created him to be.