The Goodness of God

Okay, for those of you who said you wanted this, here it is. I'm sorry it's so long, but I hope it encourages you as much as it does me.
GOODNESS: The fruit of the Spirit - (A product of the Spirit’s work, not ours’s)

The Greek word for GOODNESS is agathosune, which means goodness, usefulness, virtue or beneficence. It is more active than kindness. Goodness is goodness when it is directed toward that which does not merit the action. It is the feet of kindness. In the Gal.5 list, kindness is mentioned right before goodness. This is not a coincidence. Goodness is a natural progression of kindness. It is kindness in action.

Pastor James talked a few weeks ago about patience. He said that it is easy to be patient 90% of the time, but that 10%, in which it is very difficult, is when "patience" is REALLY patience. It is the same with goodness. We say we are usually good, because we don’t do bad things, but is that really goodness? The absence of bad is not the definition of goodness. No one can manufacture goodness. It is possible to show niceness to someone who we deem worthy. It is another matter entirely to be good to someone who does not deserve goodness.

But the truth is, none of us deserve goodness. So where does goodness come from? It obviously comes from God.
When I think about goodness, a specific scene from C.S. Lewis’s book, The Lion. The Witch, and The Wardrobe pops into my mind:
“Is-is he a man?” asked Lucy.
“Aslan a man!” said Mr. Beaver sternly. Certainly not! I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion-the Lion, the great Lion.”
“Ooh!” said Susan, “I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver, “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? “Course he isn’t safe. But He’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

Goodness is organically God. Apart from Him there is no goodness. Nothing can be added to God to make Him “more” good. Nothing is lacking or defective in God’s “goodness”. It is absolutely perfect and complete goodness.

Thomas Manton writes about the goodness of God, “He is ORIGINALLY good, good of Himself, which nothing else is; for all creatures are good only by participation and communication from God. He is ESSENTIALLY good; not only good, but goodness itself: the creature’s good is a supperadded quality; in God it is His essence. He is INFINITELY good; the creature’s good is but a drop, but in God there is an infinite ocean or gathering together of good. He is ETERNALLY and IMMUTABLY good, for He cannot be less good than He is; as there can be no addition made to Him, so no subtraction from Him.”

If we don’t think God is always good, then we don’t know God well enough. God’s dealings with us are always good. Over the past few years we have had some significant circumstances affect our small group.
The death of a spouse/close friend
The loss of a job
The war with cancer
An addictive sin
The loss of a home
Depression, despair, loneliness,
The loss of ministry
A rebellious child/friend
A broken marriage
The loss of a baby
The injury of a child
In all of this, God’s dealings with us are always good. No exceptions.
All that emanates from God-His decrees, His creation, His laws, His punishments, and His providences-cannot be other than good. I need to let that sink in...

Romans 12:2 – And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that GOOD and acceptable and perfect will of God.
God’s will is good for us and it is good. All of God’s dealings with His creation are good, because He is good.

Now I know I can get a little microscopic, so I needed to step back and look at the big picture. I went back to the beginning to see how the thread of God’s goodness was woven through HIS-story.

Starting in the beginning with creation, everything God made was very good (Gen. 1:31)

After the fiasco with the golden calf:
Moses must have been completely frustrated, angry and hopeless. He could have been on the brink of calling it quits with these people. So he gets alone with God...
And in Exodus 33:19, Moses asks God “Please show me Your glory.” I can understand this cry. After seeing the debauchery of the Israelites defiling his memory of blessed communion with the Sovereign One, Moses wants a pallet-cleansing view of God. He's angry too, so He wants vengeance and justice. Then God said to Moses, “I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim the name of the Lord before you.” This is amazing! Why did God say He would show Moses all of His goodness?? God could have picked any of his attributes to display to Moses-His justice, His power, His righteousness, His wrath, His holiness-but He chose His goodness! This astounds me. Why? I continued to follow the thread. I didn’t have to go far to find the answer.

Psalm 27:13 tells us that when we know and believe that God is GOOD, that will cause us not to lose heart, no matter what the circumstances are. Moses needed hope to go on. God knew exactly what Moses needed. And He was more than good enough to give it to him.

My friend Lisa was battling cancer and a few of her friends decided to gather some women together to pray for and encourage Lisa; to lift her spirits and renew her strength for the battle. As we all gathered around Lisa, we saw how her character was being refined and beautified in this trial. We began to share. Then Lisa, in her sweet, soft voice said, can I share with you all something that God has shown me in His Word? And she proceeded to read to us passages revealing the goodness of God and the comfort she received from them. I was deeply impacted by Lisa’s testimony of God’s Goodness in her life-regardless of her present circumstance.

Psalms 52:1 – Says that the goodness of God is eternal and limitless
Romans 2:4 – tells us that the goodness of God leads us to repentance. God’s goodness is the light that exposes our sin.

But sometimes, I confess, I am not moved by these lofty intangible Truths. God knows this and He makes His goodness unmistakable and unavoidable. The goodness of God is seen in the variety of natural pleasures, which God has provided for us.
Taste-varied flavors and the ability to enjoy them.
Touch-A plethora of textures and temperatures
Sight – beauty, colors, shades, dimensions, and shapes
Smell – flowers, fresh-cut grass, spring rain, dead leaves
Sounds – awesome and calming sounds of nature, and of course-music!
Psalm 33:5 – truly the earth is full of the goodness of God!

Even after man sinned against the law of His Creator, God did not begin an immediate outpouring of His unmixed wrath and justice. His judgment is poured out MIXED with His goodness. (God causes the sun to shine on the righteous and the unrighteous) His goodness is just and His justice is good. There is a balance in His nature.

The goodness of God appeared most dramatically when He sent His Son “made of a woman, made under the law, to redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons.” (Gal. 4:4,5).

It’s the Christmas season, and at this time it is fitting to remember the great multitude of the heavenly hosts, praising their Maker and singing, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace, goodwill toward men” (Luke 2:14).

I learned that the Greek word “grace” conveys the idea of goodness. God did not leave mankind to perish. His goodness provided a just way for man to be saved.

So how do I surrender myself to the Spirit’s cultivation of goodness in my heart? How can I be a yielded soil?
I think Isaiah 1:17 answers this question succinctly. “Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the oppressor; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow.” What is goodness applied to my life? Isaiah says, seek justice, reprove the oppressor, defend the fatherless and plead for the widow. It is almost identical to James’ words. James 1:27 – Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and keep oneself unspotted from the world. James is saying, hey, you want to know what separates the religious hypocrites from the true worshippers? This is it. You can tell if God is abiding in someone by what comes out of his or her life. Are they good?

We are back full circle. Goodness is active kindness, especially to those not easy to love or not worthy-by our estimation-of anything good. In a world where every action expects an equal or greater reaction, true goodness in unnatural. We don’t usually get anything from this-in this life.

So to wrap it up, these are some things I learned about goodness.
1. It is active kindness
2. It is most “good” when given to those who don’t deserve it.
3. All things in my life (even the things I think are bad) are good because they come directly from God who is entirely and completely good all the time.
4. (Thanks to Pastor Johnson’s sermon) Don’t limit how I “allow” God to show His goodness to me (as in only the comfortable, prosperous things)

C. H. Spurgeon sums it up well. “When others behave badly to us, it should only stir us up the more heartily to give thanks to the Lord, because He is good; and when we ourselves are conscious that we are far from being good, we should only the more reverently bless Him that He IS good. We must never tolerate an instant’s unbelief as to the goodness of the Lord; whatever else may be questioned, this is absolutely certain, that Jehovah is good; His dispensations may vary, but His nature is always the same.”

Pray for Haiti

Many of you have heard about the three-story school collapse in Haiti. What a horrific event. The school is located in the town of Petionville, Haiti, about six miles down the mountain from the Baptist Haiti Mission. The day of the collapse, my brother Kyrk received a call from someone he didn't know asking him to assist in the rescue attempts. So Kyrk, my Dad, my brother-in-law Chris, Ken Schlorf (another missionary with BHM) and some of the Haitians piled in the back of a truck and went to help out. I imaginge, it was hard for rescue workers to get close enough to the site to assist. Thousands of shocked and greiving Haitians crowded the area. What a sad day!







As you can tell from the above picture, it was hard for rescue workers to get close enough to the site to assist. They eventually did, and were able to work for six hours. This is a picture of a boy Kyrk was able to assist in getting out alive. As you know from the news reports, many were not as fortunate. I think one of the hardest things for a rescue worker would be "rescuing" dead children. Pray for Haiti. Pray for all of the parents that lost children that day. Pray for those who still don't have closure. Pray for those who are working tirelessly to find the rest of the victims. Pray for President Preval and the leadership of Haiti.








To read the story from someone firsthand, check out Ken's blog at Schlorfjourney.blogspot.com

Venting

Against the front of my house (as far away from the street as possible) we placed a “Yes on Prop. 8” sign. This morning I went out to find that someone had vandalized my sign.

I looked across the street at the neighbor’s home, proudly displaying their homemade “NO on 8” sign, completely unharmed. A strange conglomeration of feelings mingled in my heart. Scenes danced across the stage of my mind:

Me dressed in black, skulking across the town stealing “no” signs.

My house spray-painted with slogans like “haters”, “judgers”, “freedom killers”, etc.

Donning my sleuth-hat and gathering irrefutable evidence (video surveillance, DNA, license plate numbers) in order to bring the full force of the law against the perpetrators.

These visions were mingled with feelings of sadness, sorrow, regret, fear, and peace.

What an upside-down world we live in. Black is white, good is evil, love is hatred, and yes, conservativism is liberalism. What is a conservative or a liberal? Well, they are what they do, so look around you, listen to the debates, the “claims” look at the voting records, legislation, bill writing, and the lobbying. When I look around this is what I see.

Conservatives want to PROTECT the freedoms of all.
Liberals want to MANDATE behavior to match the values of a minority, calling this narrow view, open-mindedness.

Conservatives support diversity by acknowledging every individual is unique and should be treated with respect; and have the freedom to live their lives peacefully-even if you don’t hold the same values as your neighbor.
Liberals call diversity legislating the most deviant and destructive life-styles while stamping out the freedom to let others hold a different set of beliefs-thus eliminating diversity.

Conservatives believe that you are responsible for your own welfare and consequences, as well as being a functioning and contributing member of a community.
Liberals believe that you are a helpless victim, too stupid to control your own life; but they are generous enough to promise welfare, no matter what, and eliminate all consequences.

Conservatives believe that government should serve the people.
Liberals believe that people should serve the government.

Conservatives believe that in order to have a peaceful, prosperous society there must be moral absolutes upheld by a set of laws.
Liberals believe that there are no moral absolutes, everyone should be able to do as he pleases-as long he doesn’t desire to live by a standard of moral absolutes.

Conservatives believe that in order to fix the world’s problems you need to roll up your sleeves and throw yourself into being part of the solution.
Liberals believe that in order to fix the world’s problems you need to throw money at it-not their money-“the people’s” money!

Conservatives will look out for others-offering a helping hand.
Liberals will “look out for number one”, and yes, they deserve a free hand out.

Conservatives believe that the law should protect the law-abiding citizen and punish the lawbreaker.
Liberals believe that the law should penalize the law-abiding citizen and protect the criminal and alien.

Conservatives believe that a healthy family is the key to a healthy society.
Liberals believe that “government nannies” should raise the masses.

Conservatives believe you should think for yourself.
Liberals believe they should think for you.

Smoke Inhalation

I was smote with conviction this morning as I churned recent thoughts, conversations and Scriptures over in my mind. No coherent line of thinking just convoluted snapshots rolling over my consciousness.

My role as a wife
A conversation overheard
A prayer for a friend battling pornography
The benefits of veneers
A devotional time we shared as a band
The sinful skill of manipulation
The definition of a fool
Proposition 4
Is Dave coming home for lunch today?
The mother who drove 500 miles to leave her 13 year old son at a hospital in Nebraska
Psalm 1
I am wicked

No. I am deep-down wicked! I look good on the outside. I do good things. No, that’s not accurate. I don’t do really bad things.

I remembered a quote by Charles Spurgeon. “Perhaps some of you can claim a sort of negative purity, because you do not walk in the way of the ungodly; but let me ask you—Is your delight in the law of God? Do you study God’s Word? Do you make it the man of your right hand—your best companion and hourly guide? If not, the blessings of Psalm 1 do not belong to you.”

I so often lie to myself.
I look at my neighbors who party all hours, fight, yell and cuss, spend most of their time in a drunken stupor, lose their jobs and spouses.
I know they are sinful. I’m not like that.
I remember “that guy” from my college that went on to seminary. Married. Became a pastor. Had a lovely home and four children. His wife was pregnant with their fifth child when he was hauled away in handcuffs to spend 10-15 years in prison. His secret sins (pornography) led to sex with minors in his youth group. The destruction of multiple families, the devastation of a church body, and the devaluing Christ in the eyes of the community were just a few of the aftershocks.
Now that’s sin, I tell myself. I’m not like that.
Then Truth pierces through the lie.
Jesus said, “Unless my righteousness EXCEEDS that of the scribes and Pharisees, I will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.”

BY NO MEANS?

Jesus said, “Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Whoever says, “You fool!” shall be in danger of hell fire.”

Jesus says, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

The truth is, I am a murderer and an adulterer. I am guilty of hell fire. I am no different than the child-rapist sitting in prison. I am wicked and worthy of death, and just because other people cannot see that doesn’t change the fact.

I would be consumed by the fire of justice and the smoke of my guilt were it not for the grace of God, giving His Son Jesus to pay the price for my sins. I would be a ‘dead man walking” were it not for His rescuing me from hell, resuscitating me from death, and adopting me into His eternal and glorious kingdom family.

Lwanj pou Jezi!

Decisions! Decisions!

This is in response to Jack’s blog regarding his most important decisions, and asking others to share theirs with him. I’ve given it a lot of thought and written my response about 15 times (some in my head). Every time, my answers are completely different. Like various forks in a path cause you to end up at various locations, so every step in my life (and everyone else’s) is laden with decisions that have trickle-down effects, too numerous to recall. These decisions definitively color, shade and contour my life in the way that makes it unique to me. So, here are three.

Decision #1 – Going to Master’s College. Although my reasons were riddled with selfish desires and sinful motives, and I had not submitted my life to the King, this was a huge turning point in my life. God used my time at Masters to get my attention, refine me and turn my heart towards Him. He exposed my sin, humbled me, birthed in me a desire to know Him more and follow Him. At Master’s I met my husband, and God united us to a life of service for His purposes.

Decision #2 - Turning off of the path to a recording contract. At that time in my life I was “pursuing my dream”. Famous vocal coach and mentor. Surrounded by contacts and friends in the business. “Guaranteed” a contract within a year. But God had been slowly and gently convicting me of my selfishness. I had a husband and a little boy who needed me. I can point to this decision as the moment that God began to really teach me that I am not my own! Not only was I bought with a price, the blood of Jesus, and belonged to God; but also, God had created me specifically to be my husband's help meet. The ramifications of this truth are wide and deep. Years later I have only begun to scratch the surface of this profound truth. A truth that is, not only contrary to our nature, but so vehemently denied by the world.

Decision #3 – Homeschooling our children. This was definitely not my idea. But again, the lessons I learned (and am still learning) from decision #2 taught me that to help my husband was my God-given responsibility and this is what my husband wanted. Over the years I have wanted to manipulate my husband into changing his “desire” (Yes, it is possible for any woman to do this, men; do not be naive.) or his understanding of what God wanted for our family. But the Spirit-thank God-always hindered me! This part of the journey is far from over, but God is using homeschooling to reveal a plethora of sinful thoughts, motives and actions in my heart. He keeps me in this pressure-cooker to refine me, teach me patience, and perseverance. I have not only been blessed with difficult lessons, but also many joys and victories. It is so amazing to me that God can expose my pride and grow in me humility at the same time, but He has and He continues to do so.

Disclaimer #1 -You may wonder why my salvation is not listed. That is simply because I had nothing to do with it. I have resisted the God of the universe in every possible way. I have ignored Him, ran from Him, denied Him, forsook Him, hated Him and tried to trick Him, steal from Him, masquerade as one of His, and deceive Him. Yet He loved me, pursued me, forgave me, provided for me, protected me, led me, drew me, restored me, and revealed Himself to me. From my perspective, my salvation was not my decision to accept His free gift, but His decision to offer it. He loved me such as I was. And oh, that makes Him all the more lovely to me!

Disclaimer #2 – There are so many bad decisions I could list that altered the color/quality of my life, and thought they are many and they are vile, even the scars and consequences are precious in the light of God’s great grace and mercy.

Melancholy Morning

This morning I was reminiscing some of my favorite times with Zach; a little melancholic nostalgia. Watching him play soccer- he is incredibly fast. He pulls off adroit moves with graceful ease. Having him call me into his room to hear a new song he wrote. The little sparkle in his eye when he asks me what I think of so-and-so. Asking me to scratch his back while he tells me his latest idea. Watching him plan out his day when he feels really rushed, but determined to finish everything. The day he built Hawaii in our backyard.

The other day I was talking to Zach at school and he was telling me how tired he was. When I asked him why, he told me that he and a few other friends were up until 2am encouraging and admonishing a brother who was struggling. He told me a bit of the struggle and some of the wisdom he and his friends were giving to the one in need. I was so encouraged to hear how he was turning to God's Word as The final authority and the only Absolute to life's quandaries. I was also touched by his deep love and concern for his fellow brother.

I am so proud of him! Not proud of what he has become, not proud of my parenting skills-they are sorely lacking. But proud of what God is creating in him, I am proud of the fact that his life is reflecting the love and sincerity of Christ. Zach is humbling himself before God, and God is giving him grace upon grace. My heart swells with the pride of realized hope and prayers, crescendoing in a cacophony of thankfulness to a most gracious and faithful God!

Makes me think...

"Writing is that means by which the world values the Way, but writing is no more than words and words, too, have value. Meaning is what give value to words, but meaning is dependant on something. What meaning depends on cannot be expressed in language, yet the world transmits writing because it values language. Although the world values writing, I , for my part, do not think it worthy of being valued, because what is valued is not what is really valuable."

Do you know who said it? Do you agree or disagree?

A Birthday Ode to Jenn

Astonished were the girls at winter camp, when they entered their bathroom, all-askew...
Blushing were you when your table-mates all gagged, “EWW!! Who did that?”
Cheery are we when we “punk” those wee ones.
Dour is James when he sees what we’ve begun!
Evil lurks behind that pretty smile,
Flatulents and laughs are our companions through the miles.
God has blessed me with a spirited and genuine friend,
Hoping, helping, and healing those who are hurt.
I am blessed to walk this road with you, faithful to the end.
Journeys are not complete without snacks-jelly bellies,
Klondike bars,
Lays potato chips,
M&m’s
Nachos and Que Bueno!!
Oh lovely Jenn,
Peculiar and
Queer (in a good way not a gay way)!
Regrettably, this ode is nearing the end,
So to sum it all up, it is my humble view,
That these twenty-five years have produced a
Unique and undeniably priceless treasure,
Valued far above rubies
Worth more than gold.
You, my dear Jenn are worthy of a Z name--
ZENNIFER!! My Zany, Zesty, Zippy Zappy Zenn!!!

Happy 25th Birthday

Sighings

The eldest bird has flown from the nest. We just returned from taking Zach to Joshua Wilderness Institute. It is only a one-year bible institute, but it feels like forever! It really feels like a part of me is missing. During the orentation, the director told the parents and students that his description of the program was a rock tumbler. He said that for one year, these 54 students would be living together, working together, ministering together, and learning together. He said that it would be the hardest thing they had ever done. He described them as rough stones, with jagged edges and rough surfaces. For one year their lives would rub against the eachother's in such a way as to cause great pain, but the end result would be a beautifully smooth and polished stone!
I had to move Zoei into Zach's room today, and it was really hard. I didn't want to do it. I wanted it to stay Zach's room forever. It was so hard to leave him at Joshua. Dave and I said good-bye and then drove down the hill to spend the night at Hume. It was so hard NOT to go back up the hill and tuck him in. It was even harder in the morning, to get up and NOT go up and give him one last hug. I know it will be a wonderful experience for him. I know he will grow trememdously. I know that his relationship with God will deepen and intensify. All of these things are good things. But I am so sad! Part of my heart was wrenched from my chest, and I realized, I never laughed with him enough, tickeled him enough, cuddled him enough, prayed with him enough...

Licky-sticky Luckiness

I am just basking in the goodness of God today! I am soo blessed. I feel like a giant bottle of Luckiness Syrup (in case you can't tell, it is the Chinese version of Hershey's Syrup). I am filled up with every good thing, coming down from the Father of Lights. My loving and awesome husband Dave. I LOVE that man!! Four really unique and talented children who are growing more like their Heavenly Father every day. A wonderful church family. Pastors who are faithful to preach the Word. Sweet sisters in Christ who are as precious to me as my own blood sisters-and that's saying a lot! An incredible band (Worst of Sinners) of God-honoring peps, and the priviledge of leading others in worship every week. An amazing ladies bible study, and soooo much more.

Book Review

Just finished reading The Poisonwood Bible. My sweet friend Morgan gave it to me a few months ago; and, honestly, I put off starting it because of the large “O” on the front cover. (I usually steer clear of anything recommended by Oprah.)

So, how do I give you an accurate evaluation? Did I like the book? Hard to say...The author is talented. She weaves a masterful and intriguing story. But what I walk away with is, how lamentable, she missed the mark. I believe she was aiming at two broad targets: redemption, and the rising of the human spirit out of adversity. But the truth is, no matter how adroit one is with words or evoking emotion from ink, an unredeemed person can never accurately portray or comprehend redemption. Their Realism will always turn out Impressionistic. Truth cannot be seen by the blind.

As to the second broad theme, the human spirit overcoming adversity; it is a myth, and in a way, I believe this is clearly seen in the characters. I say it is a myth because the human being is utterly dissolute and hopeless. He is incapable of saving himself. The thin veneer of success and triumph is so opaque, it is of no consequence. White washed tombs. Walking dead.

I really had no problem with the father. He was clearly the malfeasant, a classic Pharisee. A damaged soul believing he could earn salvation by working out of duty and legalism, all the while nailing his own coffin with judgement and intolerance. He was a fruitless tree-a tumbleweed. He preached poison not life.

The mother as well, she was a broken, misled, and timid follower. She was preached a false gospel, which she ultimately rejected, but her rejection of the lie did not bring her any closer to the Truth. The blind being led into the inferno of hell, escapes and runs away, only to drown in a pit of regret.

The four daughters, or three that survive, all end up living a life of utter emptiness. Although I believe that the author wanted us to see that you could walk through hell and come out a survivor, what I saw was quite the opposite. They all missed the road signs to safety, to true repentance and redemption.

The book would have been better if it had ended a chapter sooner. The sheer propaganda of the last chapter left a bad taste in my mouth. More than just anti-climactic, but disenchanted.

Lock, stock and barrel. Was a description of the three girls made by the mother and Adah.

Rachel was lock. She shut out the real world around her. She was self-absorbed, selfish and utterly alone. Rachel survived by sticking out her elbows and picking up her feet and letting herself be carried away by the masses. Epicureanism. She lived in a house of cards, believing all the time it was the Taj Majal. She had locked her heart off from love. Believing she was really living, she was only sleep walking through life. Living like the physical was eternal and eternal was make-believe. Shallow self-love.

Adah was stock. The author evolved her character the most, and would probably call her the heroine. Adah went from handicapped to healthy. From slow to successful. Adah was portrayed as the one who could look honestly at herself and her circumstances. To take stock of things and respond honestly. Yet, she was deceived. Science became her god. She said she believed that God was in everything, and yet she believed that god was nothing. In her evaluation (stock) of life she had clear and perfect vision. She was the Gnostic. A faith that there is no god is religion. Self-knowledge.

Leah was barrel. She barreled through life ahead of everyone. She was the most like her father in that she was trying to earn redemption. She gave her life away in service to her family and the Congo. She was the Stoic. Yet in the end, it only catapults her in an eternity of darkness. Work based salvation. Self-determination.

Where the author sees lock, stock, and barrel, I see the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life.

The book ends with a word from the dead daughter’s perspective. Waxing philosophical about forgiveness and moving on(restoration). But you realize that the real message is, forgive yourself, restore yourself. You are a victim just like the rest of humanity. Forgive yourself and move on. But we can’t forgive ourselves. We were not the ones offended. The creator of the universe, the perfect and holy God most high was offended and rejected. There is no hope when you reject the one you offended and spurn his redemption.

This book, while giving me much to think about, solidified in my mind the belief that an unredeemed and unrepentant soul can never understand true repentance or redemption, and for that lesson, and others, I value the book.

More Shanghai pics

More China Memories

Welcome to Shanghai! Our first stop in our China trip. We enjoyed so many sights, sounds, smells, and experiences here. Shanghai is smaller than Beijing but has a larger population. I never really understood crowded (even growing up in a home with eight sibblings and one shower) until I visited Shanghai. For a glimpse of crowded, check out the pics in the previous post. But for now, enjoy some very serene scenes from a peaceful spot in the center of the bustle.

A tour boat on the river seperating the classic architecture of the Bund with the modern industrialism of the Pudong area.

This is the dragon fountain outside of the Yu gardens. Another example of Old and New exsisting side by side.

This is the entrance to the Yu gardens area, right next to the previous picture.

Inside the Yu gardens. The Koi ponds were the best fed fish in all of China!

More pics

Some more pics from China

Way Wanderings

We have thoroughly enjoyed our time here in China. Shanghai is huge! For the first few days I struggled with claustrophobia, and a strong desire to see the sky. I went to the top floor of a building-what I thought was the tallest-and looked out the window to get a glimpse of the sky. What I found was taller buildings. Tons of skyscrapers squished together so tightly that all you could see was steel and concrete. I read that more than 40% of all the cranes in the world were being used in China. I think it is more like 80%. I have never seen so many cranes in all my life. And the smog made LA look pristine.
Klynt and Dana visited us here in Shanghai and we toured the Yu Gardens, the Bund, the famous Pearl Tower, took a cruise down the river, and stayed in the new Pudong area of the city.

The second city we visited was Suzhou. Suzhou is a beautiful city. Clean with lots of parks and less people/congestion. Still very smoggy. We had a great time getting reacquainted with Klynt and Dana. They spoiled the girls and were wonderful hosts! We miss them a lot! Their apartment building looks like Disneyland at night, with the lighted cupolas twenty stories high, and the manicured parks in the middle. For the thousands of people that lived there, it was astoundingly quiet.

We took an overnight sleeper train to get to Beijing from Suhzou. It took 11 hours. That was great fun! Met some interesting people. Beijing has less people than Shanghai, but more than Suzhou. Klynt and Dana met us here and we toured Tien Men Square, the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, and some famous gardens. Dave and Klynt got a head start on the girls one day and visited the military history museum one morning.

We won’t know how to behave when we get back. We are sooo famous here! Everywhere we go, people want to take our picture or pose with us and have their friends take our pictures. Poor Zailey gets mobbed, and she is so patient and kind with all of the hysteria. When she finishes one of these impromptu photo shoots she usually says, “my cheeks hurt!”

So, yesterday we prepared to leave China for Korea. We got to the airport and were missing one of our passports! Needless to say, we could not fly out of China. We returned to the hotel that we just checked out of, tore apart everything. Left our room to clear our heads, and when we returned, we found the passport. Hmm. Anyway, most of the next day was spent tying to communicate in a language unknown to us, and arrange another flight out. Now in the US we are used to many flights being available and airlines only overbooking certain flights. I guess in China they overbook all their flights by a generous percentage. The soonest flight out was a week later!

So, now we make lemonade! It is too expensive to stay in Beijing, so most of today was spent finding and arranging a smaller city to stay in and a way to get there. So, if all goes as planned-which it never completely does-we will leave in the morning by taxi and train to Shijiazhuang. More later.

To those of you in SM, please take care of my son and brother for me!!

shanghai

We are having a great time in China! I had hoped to write sooner, but internet is not always dependable or available. We completely enjoyed our time in Shanghai. Now we are in Suzhou. This is a great city. We haven't been able to explore it that much since it has been raining for the past two days. We have been enjoying spending time with Klynt and Dana, and that's worth all the rain in China!

Throw It Down

I want to give a shout out to Daryl and Carolyn Platt who shared with our Sunday school class what God is doing in their ministry. Daryl had some wonderful words of wisdom worth pondering. So this is my digestion of what he served.

Exodus 4:1-4 Then Moses said, “What if they will not believe me or listen to what I say? For they may say, ‘The LORD has not appeared to you.’”
The LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?”
And Moses said, “A staff.”
Then He said, “Throw it on the ground.”
So Moses threw it on the ground, and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from it.

First of all Moses, the privileged, had murdered someone. He fled to the backside of the wilderness. He was living as a fugitive in hiding for forty years. He must have felt utterly abandoned by God. He must have felt as if God had passed him over. He had blown it. Whatever good plan God had for him-sparing his life as an infant, allowing him to grow up in affluence and education-he had blown by killing a man.

When God appears to him in the desert, Moses is flabbergasted. He knows he’s a loser. He believes he has wasted a privileged lifestyle and a good education.
God appears to Moses with a mission. God had not abandoned him. God had a plan for him-deliver the Israelites from bondage...Gulp!

When Moses asks God what he should do or say if they (the Egyptians) don’t believe him, God doesn’t give Him a formula, God doesn’t give Him a script. God asks a question. “What do you have in your hand?”

That’s astounding. What do you have in your hands? Hello God! Stay on topic! I’m asking what spectacular deed YOU will do to back me up when they don’t believe!

Moses has a staff, of course. For the past forty years (give or take a few) he has been a sheep herder in the land of Midian. The time in the wilderness was not wasted time in God’s economy. It was preparation. (When I read the narrative of the wilderness wanderings of the Israelites, they DO resemble a bunch of bleating sheep.)
God wanted Moses to take whatever he had and throw it down at His feet. "Are you willing to give me whatever you have?" God says, "Not only can I use it, but I designed it specifically for My purposes. Do you trust Me? Will you throw it down?"

So I ask myself, what am I holding in my hands?
Am I willing to throw it at the feet of Jesus? To surrender my identity and livelihood to follow and obey Him? He can and will do miraculous things with it.

Santa Barbara Train Trip

We had a great day hanging out with friends in Santa Barbara. Inspiring and encouraging conversation on the train. An enlightening visit at Karpelli's manuscript museum. And of course, shopping!!

Dave and Zach enjoying Chipotle-a can't miss when in SB.



I don't have enough room to put all of the pics, but to those of you who joined us, thank you for your friendship and fellowship.

Book Review

Finished a book this week. One that was not on the list of books I had started in Feb. Dealing With Dragons (I was previewing it for one of my girls).
Story line: Princess runs away from her kingdom and volunteers herself in servitude to a (female) dragon-who coincidentally is the smartest and strongest dragon and eventually becomes king. The princess rebuffs rescue attempts by many princes, uncovers a plot by the wizards to steal all the magic, has a hand in rescuing other princesses captured by dragons, saves a stone prince, befriends a "good" witch, and saves the dragon kingdom.
So, my critical survey of the technique (keep in mind it is juvenile fiction): Definitely a female take on the personalities and culture of dragons (focusing on emotion and character). Whimsical yet safely adventurous. A small ripple of feminism (the men were mostly stupid and the heroine redefined her role). Most of the dialogue was filled with anachronisms which irritated me. The overall zeitgeist was not cohesive or believable.

The Fork in the Road

I am heart broken today. I learned yesterday, that a friend of mine, who lives far away, is thought (by mutual friends in geological proximity) to have "fallen away". I am completely stunned! This friend, whom I will call Mary, has been a great spiritual mentor of mine. Someone I respected personally and professionally. Someone who oozed Christlikeness, integrity, compassion, commitment and joy in the Lord. I walked closely with Mary for about seven years, then we moved away. I was still able to admire her life from a distance. It was always a blessing to see how Mary and her husband, (also a dear friend) served the Lord. Consistently. Quietly. Steadfastly. Their marriage and ministry was so encouraging and gracious. They were such an obvious road sign pointing to Jesus.

Mary's husband died a few years ago. I cannot begin to understand how hard it was for her. What emptiness and sadness she must have tasted. Yet what a beautiful testimony of the body of Christ and His loving arms enfolded around her. She grieved and rejoiced as her beloved was now in the presence of the Most High. She anticipated her reunion with yearning, yet she knew God kept her here for a purpose. Many brothers and sisters buoyed her up in fellowship, prayer and support. From far away I witnessed a beautiful working of the body of Christ, in caring for and nourishing a languishing cell. Ahh! the body at work protecting, restoring and strengthening! Mary seemed to be walking through the valley, leaning on the Shepherd. At times walking ahead, and at times being carried, but all the while moving up the path with the Savior. Then there was no news, no communication. And then, the news that friends believed she had fallen away. She had removed herself from fellowship. She didn't return calls, messages, emails. She had a new group of friends, unsaved friends.

When I was told, I wept. Oh I pray it's not true!! I plead with heaven that my friends are wrong. I beat my breast and say how could this be? How could one, once so dependant on the Lord for their every breath turn their back on Him who offers the ONLY hope, protection, blessing and goodness in this life and the next? Yet as I ask the Lord these unfathomable questions, I know from past experience, that it does happen. I have seen more than one friend turn away from the Lord. Every time it hurts deeply. Every time I TRY to comprehend, but to no avail.

Chet and I talked about this just the day before. We were discussing obedience and heart motivation. Although we do not always see eye to eye (what can you expect when you put Master's and Westmont in the ring together) on some issues, we are brother/sister in the Lord. We are family and we love and respect each other as little christs. In discussing this issue, we agreed that at some point in the Christian life (and probably at many, many times) we come to a fork in the road. A place where we realize we simply cannot DO this anymore. This, meaning living the Christian life-doing the things of Christ. It is a crisis of faith. Perhaps a point of exhaustion, fatigue and despondency. Perhaps not. At this fork we have one of two ways to go.

1. Throw our exhausted body face down at the feet of Jesus and say, "I can't do it anymore. I am a complete and utter screw up! I have tried everything and I simply can't go another step." In doing this we fully realize that this life of obedience to Christ means that Christ will have to live His goodness, His power, His love, His mercy, His justice vicariously THROUGH us and IN us, because we know that we have none of it. We can not do it. So we, in humility, ask Him to live through us. We surrender and die and allow Him to live in us. Then we get back up, propelled by His Spirit, buoyed by His love, led by His Word and start walking (all the while knowing that it is really Him walking in our feet).

Or, 2. We give in to our frustration and despondency and we quit. We say, "I have tried for years! I have begged the Lord to... and He has not. Either He isn't real or He just doesn't care about me. I quit. It's too hard." And we pick ourself up and walk away.

Oh God, I pray that that is not what Mary did.

Enchanted trip to Hollywood

We had such an amazing time! I am so thankful to the Lord for blessing Zailey with such beautiful friends who encourage her in her walk with the Lord. I am so thankful to the Lord for Jenn Allen and her leadership and organization of the 5th and 6th grade girls bible study. I am so thankful to Zailey for inviting Zoei and I to join her (in celebration of Zoei's 15th birthday)!

To be a Nosmo

I've been thinking a lot about Jesus' visit to Nazareth (Mark 6). His reception was less than welcoming-to say the least. It is hard for me to fathom the Son of God, second member of the Trinity allowing Himself to be born into such a low family surrounded with such scandalous intrigue. After all, the All-knowing God of the universe could have been born into a family of influence, power and respect. He could have chosen a more polished veneer, he could have chosen to be the son of a scholar and receive the very best education. He could have opted to grow up with princes and noblemen. Why did he choose a lowly carpenter, why did he set himself up to be pegged as that poor bastard boy?

I remember reading a story of a journalist tasked with writing about the most insignificant man he could find. After much searching, he found the perfect candidate. He began interviewing the man, his few friends and family. During the course of the interview with the man's mother, he asked how she came up with the unusual (and as such, the most interesting part of the man) name, Nosmo King. The mother confessed that she was illiterate. Upon the birth of her son, and the consequent filling out of the birth certificate, she copied from a sign which read No Smoking. That is insignificant.

But Jesus set an example for us. He chose to wrap His very Godness in insignificance. He chose 12 very insignificant men. Why? Because He is jealous of His own glory. His Sovereignty demands it. It is only through weakness and frailty that the power of God can be manifest to humanity.

We are jars of clay. Privy pots, carrying around within ourselves the very high and magnificent, most eternally precious treasure in all earth and heaven!

Forgive me Lord, for desiring to be Someone, when I should be content to be a Nosmo so You can be clearly seen by all.

Delete...Add

Tonight I did something very bittersweet. I had to delete from my address book, my dear friend, Jody's address, phone and email. My computer asks me, "Are you sure you want to permanently remove this contact from your address book?" How sad.
Permanently remove. I paused and thanked the Lord for sweet Jody, and for the impact that she had on my life. She had such a vibrant, contagious love for the Lord! Always a smile, even when she was tired.

But what a sweet thought! Jody has a new address! A permanent address that can never be deleted.
I am so happy to think that dear Jody is having the party of her life. She was joined last week by Doc Maxon. What a man! I know that Doc and Jody will have some great times together. Perhaps Jody's luxurious alto voice and Doc's resonating baritone will mingle in perfect harmonies that cause a more Blessed Face to smile...no doubt. I am jealous. Oh to be in the very presence of my Master! To have the yearning in my soul silenced. To be rid of the distractions. To be ALL THERE!!! I can't wait!

Yes, it has been a long time. It is relatively safe to assume that I have come out of hibernation at last. The sun is shining and Zailey and I are on our way to the beach. Bible study is resuming and I feel alive again. I am so excited about our upcoming journey through the gospel of Mark!!

I decided that I would keep a running list of the books that I am reading. Perhaps this will encourage me to finish some before starting more. This is my list of completed (yeah!) books for January...

The Idiot - Fyodor Dostevsky
The Kite Runner - Khaled Husseini
Humility - C J Mahaney
Feminine Appeal - Carolyn Mahaney
It Couldn't Just Happen - Richards
Mara, Daughter of the Nile - McGraw
Hittite Warrior - Williamson
God King - Williamson
The Trojan War - Coolridge
Archimedes and the Door of Science - Bendick
The Quest for Character - MacArthur
The Westminster Shorter Catechism - Williamson


Here is what I am currently reading in the month of February...

Total Truth - Nancy Pearcey
Resurrection - Tolstoy
Christian Parenting - Glenn Latham
The Gospel of Mark (Commentary) - Edmond Hiebert
Lincoln On Leadership - Donald Phillips
The Journals of Jim Elliot - Elliot
Evolution:The Grand Experiment - Werner
Agustus Caesar's World - Foster
Foxe's Christian Martyrs of the World