I was smote with conviction this morning as I churned recent thoughts, conversations and Scriptures over in my mind. No coherent line of thinking just convoluted snapshots rolling over my consciousness.
My role as a wife
A conversation overheard
A prayer for a friend battling pornography
The benefits of veneers
A devotional time we shared as a band
The sinful skill of manipulation
The definition of a fool
Proposition 4
Is Dave coming home for lunch today?
The mother who drove 500 miles to leave her 13 year old son at a hospital in Nebraska
Psalm 1
I am wicked
No. I am deep-down wicked! I look good on the outside. I do good things. No, that’s not accurate. I don’t do really bad things.
I remembered a quote by Charles Spurgeon. “Perhaps some of you can claim a sort of negative purity, because you do not walk in the way of the ungodly; but let me ask you—Is your delight in the law of God? Do you study God’s Word? Do you make it the man of your right hand—your best companion and hourly guide? If not, the blessings of Psalm 1 do not belong to you.”
I so often lie to myself.
I look at my neighbors who party all hours, fight, yell and cuss, spend most of their time in a drunken stupor, lose their jobs and spouses.
I know they are sinful. I’m not like that.
I remember “that guy” from my college that went on to seminary. Married. Became a pastor. Had a lovely home and four children. His wife was pregnant with their fifth child when he was hauled away in handcuffs to spend 10-15 years in prison. His secret sins (pornography) led to sex with minors in his youth group. The destruction of multiple families, the devastation of a church body, and the devaluing Christ in the eyes of the community were just a few of the aftershocks.
Now that’s sin, I tell myself. I’m not like that.
Then Truth pierces through the lie.
Jesus said, “Unless my righteousness EXCEEDS that of the scribes and Pharisees, I will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.”
BY NO MEANS?
Jesus said, “Whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. Whoever says, “You fool!” shall be in danger of hell fire.”
Jesus says, “Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Jesus said, “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”
The truth is, I am a murderer and an adulterer. I am guilty of hell fire. I am no different than the child-rapist sitting in prison. I am wicked and worthy of death, and just because other people cannot see that doesn’t change the fact.
I would be consumed by the fire of justice and the smoke of my guilt were it not for the grace of God, giving His Son Jesus to pay the price for my sins. I would be a ‘dead man walking” were it not for His rescuing me from hell, resuscitating me from death, and adopting me into His eternal and glorious kingdom family.
Lwanj pou Jezi!
6 comments:
Amen! Indeed we are all sinners and deserve hell, but Jesus in His awesome and amazing mercy has paid the debt for us. Honestly I should be in awe of that every single day and moment.
P.S. I responded to your comment on the blue paint :)
Oh goodness we need to talk this out! I made a statement in class saying that our hearts were born hard just like Pharaoh's & got quite a reaction from one gal. She believed that she was above Pharaoh. That her heart could never have been like his! I think I have my teaching cut out for me :-)
Totally with you sis til the last sentence, something about poor jesse??
sorry kami, it's Creole, for the Hatian peps. It means Praise Jesus. But poor Jesse is good too
Ah yes. The more clearly we see ourselves, the better God looks!
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