The Running Man

I’ll tell you a story about a guy and a girl. As any teenage love story goes, they thought, “This is it! This is real, This is forever.” Time went by, and the guy decided that she wasn’t the one for him. She was devastated. He went on to greener pastures. The heartache for her was almost beyond bearing, but he could toss her a casual smile.

Years went by. It took years for her to trust, to let go, to love. But she did. It was right and good. She found her lifelong mate. She grew stronger and her love grew deeper. Together, they met each challenge.

He found someone, possibly his forever. But when hard times came, he would escape into work, a hidden fantasy or relationship. Comitment was more of a convenient option.

You ask yourself why. You may ask what if? There are many answers to these questions. What if they had stayed together? Would it have lasted? What if his heart had been broken, would he have been stronger? Put aside the argument that God has one person for you, a perfect mate, would it have stood the test of time? Probably not.

Many times, the development of character (in particular the character of commitment/love) comes only through pain. Many lessons in life are learned through heartache. Maturation thrives in the hot house of pain. When strongholds in our life crumble, and we are left standing empty-handed and broken-hearted, we suddenly realize we are free to reach up to God. Many times we are humiliated. And humility's perspective is very clear.

We are stripped of life’s comforts and (false) securities. And we realize that God has not left us. He has always been there. God cannot help but love us. Not because we are so good or lovely, but because God IS love. It is not just a word that describes Him. It is His essence. It is who He is. He defines love, and He cannot help but to love us because we are SO in need of His love.

It is through pain that our hold on the superficial and temporal is weakened, and our grasp on the real essence of forever is strengthened. We know this, yet, it is so hard for us to embrace the pain and suffering instead of running from it.

I think I will always run…hopefully, not as fast.

Kami's new haircut

since she wouldnt post pictures, i took the liberty

to muse about

So we are in the middle of a huge project. Writing six years of Bible curriculum for all the Baptist Haiti Mission Schools (about 350 or so schools in the country of Haiti). It is a group effort. But as I do my small part, the Lord is revealing His character to me in new and powerful ways.

I was working on writing the story of Sodom and Gomrrah. Something jumped out at me. Gen. 19:14. When Lot goes to warn his two son-in-laws that the city is about to be destroyed and they needed to get out fast. The two men thought Lot was joking. (To laugh out loud in merriment or scorn) Interesting.

Why do you think that was? Was Lot just a practical joker? That theory doesn't quite sit well with his being one of the cities leaders-sitting at the city gates. Or was Lot characterized by making a mockery of God?

Weigh in please...

Back in with the old

Sorry about the confusion everyone. I will continue this blog site. Dave was the phantom blogger (see last post). He somehow figured out what needed to be done to get me into this year and the new version of blogger. I will try to delete the other spot.

Thanks for being patient everyone!! More to follow!

Back to Blogging

Well, I've had some difficulty making the jump to the new blogger/google blog format...

But I'm back, so I'll leave some real news soon. By the way, I did return safely from Hawaii and I'm now marooned back in California.

Off to Hawaii

As I hurriedly prepare for our departure tomorrow, I felt the need to take a moment and take a deep breath. Sure we are all excited about the trip! Christmas in Hawaii! We enjoy being together as a whole extended family. We enjoy adventure and traveling, exploring and trying new things. But I would really like this time to be purposeful in a spiritual sense.

I desire specifically to be an instrument of love, kindness and service to my family.
I pray that my children would die to self and WANT to serve others.
I pray that it would bring joy to their hearts to see others happy.
I pray that we would be a light to those living in darkness.
That we would each have the opportunity to share the gospel with someone we meet.
I pray that we would come back more aware of the goodness of our great God and Savior.

Banana Egg Rolls

My adorable husband took me on a date last night. We drove up to San Luis Obispo (the Farmer's Market was in full swing). We got some Thai food at a great little place (wonderful banana egg rolls!!) and took it to the corner where one of our favorite bands was playing. Incendio!! We set up our lawn chairs in the middle of the street and sat and ate, talked and kissed, met new friends and enjoyed great music!! We did a little walking a little shopping a little dreaming a little planning. It is so good to be with your best friend! I love doing things that Dave loves doing! It is still just as fun as it was 18 years ago, only now it is so much deeper and richer and fuller.

I don't ever want to take these simple pleasures for granted. The Lord has blessed me beyond measure! And it's like Christmas everyday, to take out these memories, hold them in my hands and marvel at God's great thought and care for me. What priceless gifts, every one.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of Himself to us. Love like that.

Love, the comfortable home

The topic this week seems to be "love". My friend Scott has reflected on it much, as he grieves the loss of his beloved wife. My sister Kami was sharing some things concerning love and pride in her blog too. My husband commented on how I was a good example of godly love. Although I was touched by the sentiment, I know too well, the wickedness of my own heart. It shames me.

In my ladies bible study we are studing Ephesians. In the third chapter Paul is praying for the believers, that God would grant them the ability to comprehend the love of God. God's love is truly the key to godly living. Paul says that we need to be rooted and grounded in love...that we would KNOW the love of Christ which passes knowledge... and this is tied to being filled up with all the fullness of God.

I can't really imagine being filled up with all the fullness of God. That Paul even dares to mention it as a tangible and practical reality blows my mind!!

I guess the key is in Christ dwelling in our hearts. Yes, at salvation He enters and He promises to never leave us or forsake us, but this dwelling is distinct from His entering. It carries the thought of comfortably abiding, not just tolerating or being polite, while feeling uncomfortable. Feeling at home!! When I try to imagine Christ feeling at ease in my heart, in my thoughts, in my heart attitudes, all I feel is ashamed.

Have you ever hung out with a couple that you felt so uncomfortable with? You are starting to enjoying the evening when all of a sudden there is a random topic,guesture, comment, something that sets one of the two into attack mode. You sit there feeling so embarrassed for them!! If you could melt and slither away you would. They eventually move on, but the undercurrent is still there. You never really feel at ease with that couple, because you never know when or what will spark and embarrassing situation. That is purely a selfish example, but I can imagine Jesus' indwelling in my life a bit like that. I can picture Him never wanting to "take off His shoes and relax" in my heart, because of the monsters of pride and selfishness just waiting for some opportune moment to jump out and rear their ugly heads.

How does your heart become a place where Christ is truly comfortable in? Of course it has something to do with our abiding in Christ. Meditating on His Word, knowing Him. Cultivating gratitude. Realizing our nothingness and His exceeding greatness. His immeasureable worth and my complete worthlessness. I don't think that His work of housecleaning my heart will ever be finished this side of heaven.

Shade your eyes, the sun is shining!!

I just talked to Dave today. He is in Michigan. Where the landscape is...white. I am so thankful to be in sunny CA! Praise Jesus for the 75 degree sunshine day! It makes me want to bust out in a Brady Bunch song!!

Quote for the Day

If God has called you to be really like Jesus, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to measure yourself by other Christians; and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will never let you do.
Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful, can push themselves, pull wires and work schemes to carry out their Christian goals, but these things you simply cannot do. Others may boast of their work or their writings or their success, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you ever try it, He will lead you into such deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.
Others may be allowed to succeed in making money, but most likely God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something far better than gold, namely, a helpless dependence on Him and the joy of seeing Him supply your needs day by day out of an unseen Treasury. The Lord may let others be honored and keep you hidden and unappreciated because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade. He may let others do a work for Him and get the credit for it, but He will make you work on and on without knowing how much you are doing; and then, to make your work still more precious, He may let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and thus make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.
The Holy Spirit will rebuke you for little words or deeds or even feelings, or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem to be concerned about.
But you must make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign and He has a right to do whatever He pleases with His own. He may not explain to you a thousand things which puzzle your reason in the way He deals with you, but if you will just submit yourself to Him in all things, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and bestow upon you many blessings which come only to those who are very near to His heart. Settle it, then, that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes, in ways that He does not seem to use with others. Now, when you are so possessed with the living God that your secret heart becomes pleased and delighted with this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, then you will have entered the very vestibule of heaven itself.
~G. D. Watson (1845-1924)

Thanksgiving...A year-round sport

I love thanksgiving! It used to be mostly because of the fall colors, the change of weather, football, decorating and cooking. But as I get older (and hopefully wiser) it is the intangible that captivates my heart. I have soo much to be thankful for!!

I was just reading some of my sons lyrics. He has an amazing talent. God has blessed him and will use him to proclaim His glory.

I watched my daughter make a wise decision that was very difficult, and she is still getting grief from her peers for it. But it was a mature decision. She was listening to God and not her peer group! She will lead many to Him.

I think that the things I am most thankful for are delivered to me through things and circumstances that I definitely DON'T want or like. The most precious gifts are gifts that I naturally would reject. But when I don't, when I embrace them and accept them even when they hurt or cost me, I am richly blessed.

For example:


When we first started down the long road of remodeling (years ago now), I remember sitting there sobbing on the floor staring at the ugly insides of our dining room wall. Studs standing naked, wires hanging out everywhere. I was begging God to make my husband hurry up and finish. I was sick of looking at the insides of my wall. How hard is it to slap up drywall, mud it, paint it and get on with life? But my husband, the consummate planner and perfectionist, insisted that we "do it right" which of course, meant replacing bad studs, all new electrical, new insulation, etc. This was NOT what I wanted! Nobody is going to see the inside of the wall! Who cares, just make it look nice!

I distinctly remember God speaking to me (no, not audibly) in the midst of my complaining. He directed my attention to His dwelling place (my heart). I was immediately and keenly aware of how I was prone to slap up a pretty "wall", and not waste time on the inside. I was convicted to the core. He DWELLS on the inside! The integrity of the house is internal, not external.
That naked wall, in this once-a-perfectionist's home, was a gift from God. A tangible reminder to be concerned about the things that matter-the things that God is concerned about. Craftsmanship take time. Not because God is slow, but because growth is a process, that has seasons.

I am thankful for my seasons. My falling down seasons, my empty seasons, my seasons of regret, seasons of victory, seasons of sorrow, seasons of joy, my care-free seasons, my seasons of hard struggling. I am thankful because each season produces.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Cor.12:9.

Back to the Beginning…The Theology of Sunday School Songs

There are two blogs that I visit often--to read only. One I will call the North and the other the South. They earn these pseudonyms for the most obvious reason. They are in a Civil War. You see, both authors are theologians that vehemently defend their representation of Christendom. Yet they are polar opposites! They line up in direct opposition on almost every point of (relevant) theology (and some non-relevant!).

I let you know this because I have made a decision to NOT read either one of them anymore-at least not regularly. It amazes me how cruel and petty these people can be, and how they can prattle on, ad nauseam, the merits of their camp and the ludicrousness of the other. But my real problem with them is this. When one takes such a staunch and unyielding stance on these seemingly paradoxical views in Scripture, something extremely dangerous happens. The most obvious outcome in trying to “explain” these God-truths in a way that makes sense to our limited and finite minds, is the gross distortion of the point that one sets out to defend and “prove”.

Take, for example, the argument of the South. Grace is completely free (I won’t tell you what the South calls this position, but both words are in this sentence). They go to such great lengths to support this that any Scripture that has to do with working out your salvation, or producing, or persevering, or overcoming has to be watered down or misrepresented in order to fall in line with what they have chosen to defend.

The North is just as bad. They focus so much on the working of your salvation and the human responsibility that they also distort God’s word.

The fact is, the Scripture is full of apparent contradictions. Men have been arguing them for centuries. And Lord knows I have absolutely nothing farther to contribute! No matter how hard man tries, we can never understand the infinite mind of God. And this is actually quite comforting. If I could understand the mind of God, what would I need Him for?

So, this is where I love to rest on these lofty doctrines. I believe both sides 100% (not the man-made distortions). Were we chosen before the foundation of the world? Absolutely. Does man have free will to accept or reject God? Absolutely. Is Salvation a free gift? Yes. Are we told to work out our salvation with fear and trembling? Yes. Is there only one God? Yes. Are there three distinct persons in the Godhead? Yes. Do those who reject God still bring Him glory? Absolutely. Did God choose to love us in our wretchedness? Yes. Is God absolutely just? Yes. Is God absolutely merciful? Yes. Etc…

I rest in the fact that I don’t know. I agree more and more with the simple songs I learned as a child. Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.

I attended a memorial service for my friend Jody this past weekend. It was such a beautiful, sweet time of remembering her. Being a pastor's kid, I have attended more than my fair share of funerals and memorial services, and it is true that most of the time I sat there and thought, "What a crock! That person was nothing like they are all saying!" But that was not true with Jody. The things people said about her were really true. One friend said that he believed Jody would be pleased with the legacy she left. She lived her life exactly the way she would want to be remembered.

I was very convicted. I must be honest. Jody actually lived her life every day, as if she were already in heaven. I never saw her get bogged down with life. She lived her life-to the full, but it never clouded her eternal perspective. That is not true of me. Oh, how I would LOVE that to be true of me!

I have been with people on their death beds. It is a truly amazing thing, to be with someone who has one foot on earth and one foot in heaven. Sometimes, I feel the desire to hold on to them in hopes of slipping into glory with them! The presence of glory is almost tangible. I really am jealous! But those times are few and far between. Most days are spent in a flurry of activity, and at the end of it, I feel more like a war veteran than a victorious pilgrim.

I want to live MY life. This crazy busy life of mine, in a way that is not detached, but engaged. Not just engaged on the physical level but on the spiritual level as well. I have known few people who do it right. Jody was one of them. My dad is another. Those rare one who are so connected with people and love them so deeply, yet nothing seems to knock them off balance. They walk through the madness of this world as if their feet were not really walking here at all, but in another dimension.

Oh to be heavenly minded and earthly good!!

This morning I was thinking...I believe God gives teenagers to those who are arrogant enough to think they already know how to handle difficult people. God, forgive me for my pride.

I was thinking about my parents this morning. I was overwhelmed with a great sense of thankfulness. I have been so blessed with a rich and deep, godly heritage. My parents were and continue to be prime examples of following after God. They are living an honest life of service and love.

I was thinking of my father specifically. I had just been reading a fine work of theology by a highly esteemed theologian. I began to consider his life alongside the life of other godly men I have had the privilege to sit under.

I am a pastor’s kid-all my life-and now, as an adult, when other parents of adults are retiring, mine are starting their second career. They became foreign missionaries.
We were not a typical family. We marched to the beat of a different drum. In a world of craftsman homes, dual incomes, 2.5 children and the get-ahead-in-life mentality, our family stood in stark contrast. We were a family of 10, with one small income, a mother devoted to her husband, children and volunteer work for the less fortunate. A father consistently devoted to the study of God’s Word and applying it to his life, tirelessly serving the church body and raising 8 children in the way they should go. We had nothing and yet gave freely of ourselves to others. Because of the attitude of service and giving that prevailed in our home, we assumed that we were the more fortunate and others were in need of what we had. I didn’t realize until I was older how this flew in the face of the actual circumstances. My father supported his family on about 14,000/year. By the world’s standards, we were the poor and less fortunate, and those we aimed to serve were usually well above our means. Thank God for the priceless mindset I learned as a child. The world’s economy is backwards.

As a teenager, I wanted to be just like every other kid. How shallow and self-centered I was. I was embarrassed of my dad at times. He was a quiet man. He was a humble man. He was a hillbilly from the mountains of Virginia, with a soft southern drawl. At that time in my life, I equated greatness with things like eloquence of speech, position, power, assertiveness and authority.

When I went away (far away) to Bible College, I rubbed shoulders with (by Christian Academic standards) important men- men who were professors of theology, pastors of large churches, authors and authorities on important issues. But as I watched their lives, I could not help but compare them to the man I knew most intimately. Often in these men of standing, I would not always see qualities that I had known and experienced in my dad. Some men expected respect, my father never expected it, and when he did receive it, he seemed to be wearing something that didn’t fit. God’s grace to my father was never expected either, it was always accepted with the awe and wonder, that he, being so unworthy, would receive such a valuable treasure.

My father lived a life quietly running after God. He isn’t a sprinter. He doesn’t stop and start. He’s a distance runner, steady, disciplined, and consistent. He will, I am sure, be running with his very last breath. Men I have known, go through life acting as if they expect fanfare to meet their every endeavor, their race is run from accomplishment to accomplishment with parades of accolades in their wake. I don’t recall my father ever looking or expecting to receive praise. Instead, he was looking for where God was leading and how he should spend the time and opportunities he was given. Many men of noteablilty live as if they realize the world is watching them. My father seemed to live as if there was no one watching him, and all he was watching was something unseen by human eyes.

I have heard many leaders place great value in knowing themselves. There are hundreds of books and self-evaluation tests for your spiritual gifts, leadership style, personality traits, character qualities, and behavioral patterns. It seems to be very important to know whether you are introverted or extroverted, type A or type B, organized or creative, literal, analytical, co-dependant, charismatic, phlegmatic, diplomatic, dominant or orthodox. Never once did I hear my father preach on these things. I knew my father very closely and I cannot tell you whether or not he is introverted or extroverted. He is neither. He loves Jesus Christ and emulates Him so closely that one cannot know who HE is apart from Christ. He loves others and serves them as if they were Christ. He doesn’t seem to worry about whether his “love tank” is full or empty, whether he is drained emotionally or socially. I remember my Father going to bed completely spent, but never saying he was tired. I remember seeing him spending hours studying, then going to the hospitals and spend hours ministering to those who were sick, then going to church and spending hours counseling people, arranging chairs, cleaning toilets, changing light bulbs (he was, by default, the janitor too), then going to an elderly members house and hoeing his garden because the man was too weak to do it. Then he would come home mow the lawn in the dark, take out the trash etc, silently doing all the chores we children were told to do but didn’t. All without complaining, all without asking for help or lecturing about doing what we were told. One time I heard my mother exasperatedly ask my father why he didn’t tell the particular child AGAIN to do what he was supposed to do. I remember my father’s response. “I want him to do it because he wants to do it, not because I tell him to do it.”

Was my Father just a pushover? Was he just one of those 1940’s dad’s who ruled silently? Was he a workaholic? An over-achiever? A simpleton? At times I mentally accused my Father of all of these, but those moments only revealed my foolishness. The truth is, I have never met a man that as closely resembles Christ in his daily, mundane, personal and private life as my father. Who he is in the private four walls of our home, who he was behind the pulpit, at the side of a hospital bed, on the top of a ladder, and on the softball field. My father is a quiet oasis of strength and dignity amid the torrent of life’s business and trials.

Today was Dawn Elders memorial service. It was a loving memorial to her and her legacy was one in which I strive to leave as well. Since I didn't share in the service, I will share here something I remember and cherish about Dawn.

When we were going through a particularly difficult time with one of our children, I remember going to Dawn (who had already raised her four kids) and asked her for advice with this errant child and my frustration. I especially wanted her to pray for me to not sin as well. I know that Dawn prayed, because maybe a week later I received a four-page, typewritten letter full of encouragement, words of advice, ways in which she had blown it as a parent, ways she wished she would have done things differently, and sprinkled throughout were Scriptures to give us wisdom and refreshment.

She kept on praying and asking and encouraging us in our parenting. She even threw us a baby shower for our fourth child! And what a great party it was! All of the fun people were there (the youth group) so we didn't have to play any of those silly shower games. The Elders knew how to throw great parties.

She also genuinely loved my kids. They were so giving and caring to our family. The Sunday School cards they sent out every week to the kids. Zarissa and Zailey still have all of theirs. She and John taught Zach the art of beekeeping. Dawn had the girls and I over for Japanese tea and taught us (or tried to teach us) origami. She was always eager to learn something new!

I so desire to be honored as Dawn was today at her memorial by many who said that she was honoring to her husband. I want to be as accessible as Dawn was to everyone. I want to be as in love with my husband as she was (always bragging on him). I want to be as excited about the things of God as she was. I want to be as encouraging to others as she was.

Word for the Day


UXORIOUS - (Latin dir) doting upon, foolishly fond of, or affectionate toward one's wife

This word has been demonstrated so beautifully in my friend Scotty who uxoriously cares for his wife, the consumate sweetheart, Jody. Everytime I read the updates on their blog I am first and foremost, knocked to my knees in overwhelming adoration and praise of my Lord and Savior for His all-sufficiency and perfectness! No, Jody's cancer isn't fair (Neither is Dawn Elders), but God IS perfect and His plans are good and righteous altogether. Secondly, I am humbeled by their continual thanksgiving! More accurately, I have modeled on the pages before me (in Scott and Jody's blog) such a saturated display of thankfulness, in the midst of the harshest, most cruel circumstances, that I am struck by my lack of thanksgiving, in my relative life of ease and tranquility!

John is another beautiful picture of a godly and uxorious husband! We were able to visit Dawn at home on Sunday. We brought a little Sunday morning worship to her and John. It does make me a little jealous to be in the same room with someone who is so close to seeing Jesus face to face. And all the while John is at her side tenderly caring for her, hurting with her and for her. That man is such a beautiful picture of Christ to me!

My Most Recent Spiritual Gifts Test Results


Kari Way
(Please print these pages for a permanent record of your analysis.)
Spiritual Gifts
Strength

Evangelism 13

Prophecy 15

Teaching 16

Exhortation 12

Pastor/Shepherd 16

Showing Mercy 8

Serving 5

Giving 10

Administration 19

About Your Spiritual Gifts

Spiritual gifts are tools God gives Christians to do the work of the ministry -- to fulfill the Great Commission to reach, baptize, and teach and to minister to one another. Every Christian receives at least one gift at the moment of salvation. Spiritual gifts are not rewards, are not natural talents, are not a place of service, are not an age-group ministry, and are not a specialty ministry. They express themselves through various ministries which, in turn, accomplish a variety of results. A spiritual gift is the primary channel by which the Holy Spirit ministers through the believer. It is a supernatural capacity for service to God -- and He gives you a supernatural desire to perform the duties of that gift. Spiritual gifts are tools for building the church. They are a source of joy in your Christian life and influence your motives. A spiritual gift is a divine calling with a divine responsibility, because what God has gifted you to do, He has called you to do, and what He has called you to do, He has gifted you to do.
There are three categories of gifts: The Miraculous Gifts, generally known today as Charismatic Gifts; the Enabling Gifts which all Christians have the ability to develop (faith, discernment, wisdom, and knowledge -- qualities possessed rather than activities performed); and Team Gifts which are activity, service, or task-oriented. The Team Gifts are functional and involve speaking or ministering. Chances are, you have several of these gifts that vary in different degrees and intensity. In many cases, spiritual gifts even complement your secular employment. The Spiritual Gifts Analysis you took identified your dominant TEAM GIFTS which will help you find your place on the team in your church. Prayer and serving God will also help you see where God wants you. This profile gives you a simple bar graph showing how all the gifts relate to you and to each other, but analyzes indepth only your dominant and secondary gifts which are the ones that will have greater influence in your life.


Your dominant gifts are Administration, Teaching, Pastor/Shepherd


The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is ADMINISTRATION! The Greek word "kubernesis" means one who steers a ship. This expert had the responsibility to bring a ship into the harbor through the rocks and shoals, under all types of pressures. As an administrator you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by organizing, administering, promoting, and leading the various affairs of the church. The administrator is not a glorified file clerk.
As an administrator you are a take-charge person who jumps in and starts giving orders when no one is in charge. You will put a plan on paper and start delegating responsibility. You may lean toward organizing things, events or programs, OR toward organizing people, emphasizing personal relationships and leadership responsibilities. In the first case, you usually organize details and have people carry them out. In the second case, you tend to organize people and rely on others to take care of the little things.
You don't often admit to mistakes and do not like to take time to explain why you are doing things; you just expect the job to get done. If things in the church, office, club, etc. become fragmented, you can harmonize the whole program if given a chance. You are a person with a dream and are not afraid to attempt the impossible. You are goal-oriented, well-disciplined, and work best under heavy pressure. You are often a good motivator and not a procrastinator. You are serious minded, highly motivated, intense, and have an accurate self-image. You tend to be more interested in the welfare of the group than your own desire. You are probably a perfectionist and want things done your way now.
Although to others you appear to be organized, you usually aren't. Be careful that you do not make decisions just based on logic rather than Scripture. Work on your willingness to admit to making a mistake and on being more sensitive to "little" people. Try to be a little more tolerant of other people's mistakes.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of your leadership role, selfishness because of success (not sharing glory with those under you), blame-shifting when things go wrong, discouragement and frustration when goals are not met, anger and mistreatment of those who disagree with your plans, lack of concern for people, lack of spiritual growth, and wrong motives.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You may work well as the leader of a project, ministry, or program; chairman of a committee or board; a church planner; or chairman of building or fund-raising projects. Other positions where you may serve well include pastor, assistant pastor, business manager, office manager or department head for large staff, Sunday school superintendent, fellowship group or missionary circle leader, library manager, camp director, church moderator, bus ministry director, nursery coordinator or Vacation Bible School director.



The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is TEACHING! The Greek word for teacher "didaskalos" means master, teacher or doctor. As a teacher you are one who communicates knowledge, guides, makes known or relays facts. You are likely more in-depth than the average Sunday school teacher. You have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by making clear the truth of God's Word with accuracy.
As a teacher you live to learn and teach (or perhaps write if you teach through the written medium). You should learn to teach in two manners which may be contrary to your nature. The material must be simple so students can understand it, and it must be practical. The pastor/shepherd, the prophet, and the exhorter (those with speaking gifts) usually rely on your resources to help fulfill their responsibilities.
You love the Word, enjoy reading, may be a little shy of strangers, are creative and imaginative, and prefer teaching groups over individuals. You are generally confident, self-disciplined, and sometimes technical. You probably love charts, graphs, and lists. You would sometimes rather just do research, but "must teach" because others would not teach it the way you would. The use of a verse out of context upsets you and you question the knowledge of those who teach you. You are organized and enjoy studying. You are so concerned with accuracy that you often dwell on the trivial, giving others the feeling that you give too many details. Some may even think you are boring.
Be careful that you are not critical of people who differ with your doctrine and that you do not measure other people's spirituality by their amount of Bible knowledge. Be willing to listen as well as talk. Don't hesitate to read directions and work on developing tolerance for others' mistakes.
If you score high in the gift of teaching and very low in the gift of shepherding, you probably won't make a good Sunday school teacher or group leader. Your tendency will be to relay knowledge and not shepherd or minister to the other needs of your students. People who use the gift of teaching in vocational service usually become teachers of teachers, professors, authors, or in-depth researchers.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You do not necessarily have to teach the Bible to be a help to the church ministry. Although you can help with interpretation or teaching teachers and others, you may teach in areas such as education, business, finance, or computers. You may enjoy writing and developing curriculum. You would probably serve well as a Bible institute teacher or a correspondence course instructor. Your gift also lends itself to the mission field where you could serve as a missionary/teacher. You may want to teach a basic doctrine course to newcomers or new Christians or host quarterly small group studies on different topics. You may enjoy doing research for the pastor or others who teach.



The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.

SKUBALON...AND...HOLDING IT ALL IN AN OPEN HAND

It shouldn't surprise me that Satan continues to wage war, and that he's good at it. But it is always harder i.e.., more humiliating, to admit that he has found your weakness when you are in a leadership role. I have had the privilege, as of late to be in the position where I have had to ask forgiveness and admit I was wrong. (Believe it or not this is not a novel position I find myself in. It happens daily with my husband and my children, but this is on a more grander/less intimate scale.) I say privilege because for me, someone who continues to contend with the heart-sins of pride and a critical spirit, coming face to face with my wretchedness has a cleansing affect on me. It brings me to a place where I am stripped of any self-aggrandizement my mind wishes to indulge in. As a friend said best, it puts me in the place I love to be in the most, "in the dirt at the foot of the cross". What a precious place! What a sorrowfully sweet place. To be reminded-again!-that I am nothing. That the only thing I have to boast in (as Paul so eloquently put it) is Christ crucified. Everything else is skubalon! I stepped in a pile of skubalon once-with bare feet...yeah.

I can be the most confident leader, fully prepared for every scenario. Equipped up the yazoo with contingencies, strategies and methods. If these fail, I can do the whole thing by myself. After all, it takes longer to train somebody to do something than it does to just do it yourself, and then you don't have to deal with their learning curves. But I continue to learn in deeper and deeper ways what Paul was really getting at when he says in our weakness He is strong. It is precisely at these moments of utter weakness, inadequateness, ineptness and failures; when God takes a screw-up who can not possibly______! and chooses to use them AND their failure to 1) bring glory to Himself and 2) accomplish His purposes!

All my righteousness is filthy rags, and only a girl post menstrual can fully appreciate that simile! Hah!! I love the way the bible is so graphic. Thank God for making the gospel so simple, even if it is hard to believe (see John MacArthur's book, Hard To Believe--most excellent!). That is another post. So is the next point leaning around the corner of my mind: the relevancy of the gospel. I have many thoughts on the faithfulness vs. relevancy debate...I never promise profound thoughts, just thoughts. I've gapped. Redirect.

It is the most vulnerable place to be. The place when you are face to face with your sin, and you confess that sin to others. It is past the point of justifying, shifting blame or making excuses. I don't think that there is room in that moment for pride, at least I don't believe I've ever experienced it there. I leave room for error in this as I am acutely aware that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. No one short of the One who judges our deepest thoughts and motives can ever know.

So, Zachary survived Wildwood Leadership Camp, Haiti and the Navajo Reservation, but the day he came home he almost slices off three fingers with a machete. After a trip to the emergency room, 27ish stitches, a trip to a hand specialist, surgery scheduled for Wednesday and many many talks about what the Lord is trying to teach Zach and us through this experience, I have been mulling over in my mind holding "things" in an open hand. This has been a recurring topic in our band throughout the years, as God gives and takes away. Zachary and I discussed the possibility of God using this experience to make him aware of the fact that his guitar playing could be an idol-worse case. Or just something that he must be willing to hold in an open hand before God. In his heart, allowing God to take that away if He chooses. Not inferring that we can give God the green light-that's laughable, and definitely not suggesting that God is fickle and hasn't made up His mind. Yes, a blast to the openness theology heresy. But recognizing that we have nothing, ability, personality, instinct, gift, that He hasn't given us. It is all His to do as He wills for His glory and for our good. Zachary loves playing! It probably gives him the greatest joy. He feels the closest to Jesus when he is playing/worshipping. Yet even those good amazing things that God gives us, those things that we may think define our closeness to Him. They are not HIM!! They need to be held in an open hand stretched out to God. A sacrifice to Him. I think that when we begin to close our fist and pull it to our chest it becomes skubalon. Hard lessons to learn...