Today was Dawn Elders memorial service. It was a loving memorial to her and her legacy was one in which I strive to leave as well. Since I didn't share in the service, I will share here something I remember and cherish about Dawn.
When we were going through a particularly difficult time with one of our children, I remember going to Dawn (who had already raised her four kids) and asked her for advice with this errant child and my frustration. I especially wanted her to pray for me to not sin as well. I know that Dawn prayed, because maybe a week later I received a four-page, typewritten letter full of encouragement, words of advice, ways in which she had blown it as a parent, ways she wished she would have done things differently, and sprinkled throughout were Scriptures to give us wisdom and refreshment.
She kept on praying and asking and encouraging us in our parenting. She even threw us a baby shower for our fourth child! And what a great party it was! All of the fun people were there (the youth group) so we didn't have to play any of those silly shower games. The Elders knew how to throw great parties.
She also genuinely loved my kids. They were so giving and caring to our family. The Sunday School cards they sent out every week to the kids. Zarissa and Zailey still have all of theirs. She and John taught Zach the art of beekeeping. Dawn had the girls and I over for Japanese tea and taught us (or tried to teach us) origami. She was always eager to learn something new!
I so desire to be honored as Dawn was today at her memorial by many who said that she was honoring to her husband. I want to be as accessible as Dawn was to everyone. I want to be as in love with my husband as she was (always bragging on him). I want to be as excited about the things of God as she was. I want to be as encouraging to others as she was.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Word for the Day
UXORIOUS - (Latin dir) doting upon, foolishly fond of, or affectionate toward one's wife
This word has been demonstrated so beautifully in my friend Scotty who uxoriously cares for his wife, the consumate sweetheart, Jody. Everytime I read the updates on their blog I am first and foremost, knocked to my knees in overwhelming adoration and praise of my Lord and Savior for His all-sufficiency and perfectness! No, Jody's cancer isn't fair (Neither is Dawn Elders), but God IS perfect and His plans are good and righteous altogether. Secondly, I am humbeled by their continual thanksgiving! More accurately, I have modeled on the pages before me (in Scott and Jody's blog) such a saturated display of thankfulness, in the midst of the harshest, most cruel circumstances, that I am struck by my lack of thanksgiving, in my relative life of ease and tranquility!
John is another beautiful picture of a godly and uxorious husband! We were able to visit Dawn at home on Sunday. We brought a little Sunday morning worship to her and John. It does make me a little jealous to be in the same room with someone who is so close to seeing Jesus face to face. And all the while John is at her side tenderly caring for her, hurting with her and for her. That man is such a beautiful picture of Christ to me!
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
My Most Recent Spiritual Gifts Test Results
Kari Way
(Please print these pages for a permanent record of your analysis.)
Spiritual Gifts
Strength
Evangelism 13
Prophecy 15
Teaching 16
Exhortation 12
Pastor/Shepherd 16
Showing Mercy 8
Serving 5
Giving 10
Administration 19
About Your Spiritual Gifts
Spiritual gifts are tools God gives Christians to do the work of the ministry -- to fulfill the Great Commission to reach, baptize, and teach and to minister to one another. Every Christian receives at least one gift at the moment of salvation. Spiritual gifts are not rewards, are not natural talents, are not a place of service, are not an age-group ministry, and are not a specialty ministry. They express themselves through various ministries which, in turn, accomplish a variety of results. A spiritual gift is the primary channel by which the Holy Spirit ministers through the believer. It is a supernatural capacity for service to God -- and He gives you a supernatural desire to perform the duties of that gift. Spiritual gifts are tools for building the church. They are a source of joy in your Christian life and influence your motives. A spiritual gift is a divine calling with a divine responsibility, because what God has gifted you to do, He has called you to do, and what He has called you to do, He has gifted you to do.
There are three categories of gifts: The Miraculous Gifts, generally known today as Charismatic Gifts; the Enabling Gifts which all Christians have the ability to develop (faith, discernment, wisdom, and knowledge -- qualities possessed rather than activities performed); and Team Gifts which are activity, service, or task-oriented. The Team Gifts are functional and involve speaking or ministering. Chances are, you have several of these gifts that vary in different degrees and intensity. In many cases, spiritual gifts even complement your secular employment. The Spiritual Gifts Analysis you took identified your dominant TEAM GIFTS which will help you find your place on the team in your church. Prayer and serving God will also help you see where God wants you. This profile gives you a simple bar graph showing how all the gifts relate to you and to each other, but analyzes indepth only your dominant and secondary gifts which are the ones that will have greater influence in your life.
Your dominant gifts are Administration, Teaching, Pastor/Shepherd
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is ADMINISTRATION! The Greek word "kubernesis" means one who steers a ship. This expert had the responsibility to bring a ship into the harbor through the rocks and shoals, under all types of pressures. As an administrator you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by organizing, administering, promoting, and leading the various affairs of the church. The administrator is not a glorified file clerk.
As an administrator you are a take-charge person who jumps in and starts giving orders when no one is in charge. You will put a plan on paper and start delegating responsibility. You may lean toward organizing things, events or programs, OR toward organizing people, emphasizing personal relationships and leadership responsibilities. In the first case, you usually organize details and have people carry them out. In the second case, you tend to organize people and rely on others to take care of the little things.
You don't often admit to mistakes and do not like to take time to explain why you are doing things; you just expect the job to get done. If things in the church, office, club, etc. become fragmented, you can harmonize the whole program if given a chance. You are a person with a dream and are not afraid to attempt the impossible. You are goal-oriented, well-disciplined, and work best under heavy pressure. You are often a good motivator and not a procrastinator. You are serious minded, highly motivated, intense, and have an accurate self-image. You tend to be more interested in the welfare of the group than your own desire. You are probably a perfectionist and want things done your way now.
Although to others you appear to be organized, you usually aren't. Be careful that you do not make decisions just based on logic rather than Scripture. Work on your willingness to admit to making a mistake and on being more sensitive to "little" people. Try to be a little more tolerant of other people's mistakes.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of your leadership role, selfishness because of success (not sharing glory with those under you), blame-shifting when things go wrong, discouragement and frustration when goals are not met, anger and mistreatment of those who disagree with your plans, lack of concern for people, lack of spiritual growth, and wrong motives.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You may work well as the leader of a project, ministry, or program; chairman of a committee or board; a church planner; or chairman of building or fund-raising projects. Other positions where you may serve well include pastor, assistant pastor, business manager, office manager or department head for large staff, Sunday school superintendent, fellowship group or missionary circle leader, library manager, camp director, church moderator, bus ministry director, nursery coordinator or Vacation Bible School director.
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is TEACHING! The Greek word for teacher "didaskalos" means master, teacher or doctor. As a teacher you are one who communicates knowledge, guides, makes known or relays facts. You are likely more in-depth than the average Sunday school teacher. You have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by making clear the truth of God's Word with accuracy.
As a teacher you live to learn and teach (or perhaps write if you teach through the written medium). You should learn to teach in two manners which may be contrary to your nature. The material must be simple so students can understand it, and it must be practical. The pastor/shepherd, the prophet, and the exhorter (those with speaking gifts) usually rely on your resources to help fulfill their responsibilities.
You love the Word, enjoy reading, may be a little shy of strangers, are creative and imaginative, and prefer teaching groups over individuals. You are generally confident, self-disciplined, and sometimes technical. You probably love charts, graphs, and lists. You would sometimes rather just do research, but "must teach" because others would not teach it the way you would. The use of a verse out of context upsets you and you question the knowledge of those who teach you. You are organized and enjoy studying. You are so concerned with accuracy that you often dwell on the trivial, giving others the feeling that you give too many details. Some may even think you are boring.
Be careful that you are not critical of people who differ with your doctrine and that you do not measure other people's spirituality by their amount of Bible knowledge. Be willing to listen as well as talk. Don't hesitate to read directions and work on developing tolerance for others' mistakes.
If you score high in the gift of teaching and very low in the gift of shepherding, you probably won't make a good Sunday school teacher or group leader. Your tendency will be to relay knowledge and not shepherd or minister to the other needs of your students. People who use the gift of teaching in vocational service usually become teachers of teachers, professors, authors, or in-depth researchers.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You do not necessarily have to teach the Bible to be a help to the church ministry. Although you can help with interpretation or teaching teachers and others, you may teach in areas such as education, business, finance, or computers. You may enjoy writing and developing curriculum. You would probably serve well as a Bible institute teacher or a correspondence course instructor. Your gift also lends itself to the mission field where you could serve as a missionary/teacher. You may want to teach a basic doctrine course to newcomers or new Christians or host quarterly small group studies on different topics. You may enjoy doing research for the pastor or others who teach.
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.
Kari Way
(Please print these pages for a permanent record of your analysis.)
Spiritual Gifts
Strength
Evangelism 13
Prophecy 15
Teaching 16
Exhortation 12
Pastor/Shepherd 16
Showing Mercy 8
Serving 5
Giving 10
Administration 19
About Your Spiritual Gifts
Spiritual gifts are tools God gives Christians to do the work of the ministry -- to fulfill the Great Commission to reach, baptize, and teach and to minister to one another. Every Christian receives at least one gift at the moment of salvation. Spiritual gifts are not rewards, are not natural talents, are not a place of service, are not an age-group ministry, and are not a specialty ministry. They express themselves through various ministries which, in turn, accomplish a variety of results. A spiritual gift is the primary channel by which the Holy Spirit ministers through the believer. It is a supernatural capacity for service to God -- and He gives you a supernatural desire to perform the duties of that gift. Spiritual gifts are tools for building the church. They are a source of joy in your Christian life and influence your motives. A spiritual gift is a divine calling with a divine responsibility, because what God has gifted you to do, He has called you to do, and what He has called you to do, He has gifted you to do.
There are three categories of gifts: The Miraculous Gifts, generally known today as Charismatic Gifts; the Enabling Gifts which all Christians have the ability to develop (faith, discernment, wisdom, and knowledge -- qualities possessed rather than activities performed); and Team Gifts which are activity, service, or task-oriented. The Team Gifts are functional and involve speaking or ministering. Chances are, you have several of these gifts that vary in different degrees and intensity. In many cases, spiritual gifts even complement your secular employment. The Spiritual Gifts Analysis you took identified your dominant TEAM GIFTS which will help you find your place on the team in your church. Prayer and serving God will also help you see where God wants you. This profile gives you a simple bar graph showing how all the gifts relate to you and to each other, but analyzes indepth only your dominant and secondary gifts which are the ones that will have greater influence in your life.
Your dominant gifts are Administration, Teaching, Pastor/Shepherd
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is ADMINISTRATION! The Greek word "kubernesis" means one who steers a ship. This expert had the responsibility to bring a ship into the harbor through the rocks and shoals, under all types of pressures. As an administrator you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by organizing, administering, promoting, and leading the various affairs of the church. The administrator is not a glorified file clerk.
As an administrator you are a take-charge person who jumps in and starts giving orders when no one is in charge. You will put a plan on paper and start delegating responsibility. You may lean toward organizing things, events or programs, OR toward organizing people, emphasizing personal relationships and leadership responsibilities. In the first case, you usually organize details and have people carry them out. In the second case, you tend to organize people and rely on others to take care of the little things.
You don't often admit to mistakes and do not like to take time to explain why you are doing things; you just expect the job to get done. If things in the church, office, club, etc. become fragmented, you can harmonize the whole program if given a chance. You are a person with a dream and are not afraid to attempt the impossible. You are goal-oriented, well-disciplined, and work best under heavy pressure. You are often a good motivator and not a procrastinator. You are serious minded, highly motivated, intense, and have an accurate self-image. You tend to be more interested in the welfare of the group than your own desire. You are probably a perfectionist and want things done your way now.
Although to others you appear to be organized, you usually aren't. Be careful that you do not make decisions just based on logic rather than Scripture. Work on your willingness to admit to making a mistake and on being more sensitive to "little" people. Try to be a little more tolerant of other people's mistakes.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of your leadership role, selfishness because of success (not sharing glory with those under you), blame-shifting when things go wrong, discouragement and frustration when goals are not met, anger and mistreatment of those who disagree with your plans, lack of concern for people, lack of spiritual growth, and wrong motives.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You may work well as the leader of a project, ministry, or program; chairman of a committee or board; a church planner; or chairman of building or fund-raising projects. Other positions where you may serve well include pastor, assistant pastor, business manager, office manager or department head for large staff, Sunday school superintendent, fellowship group or missionary circle leader, library manager, camp director, church moderator, bus ministry director, nursery coordinator or Vacation Bible School director.
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is TEACHING! The Greek word for teacher "didaskalos" means master, teacher or doctor. As a teacher you are one who communicates knowledge, guides, makes known or relays facts. You are likely more in-depth than the average Sunday school teacher. You have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by making clear the truth of God's Word with accuracy.
As a teacher you live to learn and teach (or perhaps write if you teach through the written medium). You should learn to teach in two manners which may be contrary to your nature. The material must be simple so students can understand it, and it must be practical. The pastor/shepherd, the prophet, and the exhorter (those with speaking gifts) usually rely on your resources to help fulfill their responsibilities.
You love the Word, enjoy reading, may be a little shy of strangers, are creative and imaginative, and prefer teaching groups over individuals. You are generally confident, self-disciplined, and sometimes technical. You probably love charts, graphs, and lists. You would sometimes rather just do research, but "must teach" because others would not teach it the way you would. The use of a verse out of context upsets you and you question the knowledge of those who teach you. You are organized and enjoy studying. You are so concerned with accuracy that you often dwell on the trivial, giving others the feeling that you give too many details. Some may even think you are boring.
Be careful that you are not critical of people who differ with your doctrine and that you do not measure other people's spirituality by their amount of Bible knowledge. Be willing to listen as well as talk. Don't hesitate to read directions and work on developing tolerance for others' mistakes.
If you score high in the gift of teaching and very low in the gift of shepherding, you probably won't make a good Sunday school teacher or group leader. Your tendency will be to relay knowledge and not shepherd or minister to the other needs of your students. People who use the gift of teaching in vocational service usually become teachers of teachers, professors, authors, or in-depth researchers.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR DOMINANT GIFT? You do not necessarily have to teach the Bible to be a help to the church ministry. Although you can help with interpretation or teaching teachers and others, you may teach in areas such as education, business, finance, or computers. You may enjoy writing and developing curriculum. You would probably serve well as a Bible institute teacher or a correspondence course instructor. Your gift also lends itself to the mission field where you could serve as a missionary/teacher. You may want to teach a basic doctrine course to newcomers or new Christians or host quarterly small group studies on different topics. You may enjoy doing research for the pastor or others who teach.
The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is PASTORING/SHEPHERDING! The Greek word "poimen" means pastor. In Paul's spiritual gifts listing in Ephesians 4:11, this term is translated "pastor." Although the word "poimen" is translated pastor only one time in Scripture it is used sixteen additional times. The remaining sixteen are all translated "shepherd." Therefore, we are actually discussing the GIFT of shepherding, not the POSITION of pastor. Though a good pastor must have the gift of shepherding, everyone who has the gift of shepherding is not called to be pastor. The gift can be used in many positions in a church.
As a gifted shepherd, you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by overseeing, training, and caring for the needs of a group of Christians. You are usually very patient, people-centered, and willing to spend time in prayer for others. You tend to be a "Jack of All and Master of ONE," meaning you are usually dominant in one of the speaking gifts (evangelist, prophet, teacher, exhorter) as well. You are often authoritative, more a leader than a follower, and expressive, composed, and sensitive. Your pleasing personality draws people to you.
You have a burden to see others learn and grow and are protective of those under your care. You want to present the whole Word of God and do not like to present the same materials more than once. You are willing to study what is necessary to feed your group and are more relationship oriented than task oriented. You are a peace-maker and diplomat - very tolerant of people's weaknesses. You tend to remember people's names and faces. You are more concerned with doing for others than others doing for you. You are faithful and devoted and may become a workaholic. You can become an all-purpose person in order to meet needs.
People with the gift of shepherding make the best Sunday school teachers and group leaders because their desire is to go beyond just teaching or leading, to shepherd and minister to the daily needs of their students. The position of Sunday school teacher or group leader is an extension of the pastoral ministry in the church. These groups should be shepherded on a small scale the same as the pastor shepherds the whole congregation on a large scale.
Be careful to involve other people; don't try to do it all yourself. Work on making people accountable. Do not be overly protective of your "flock." Because of these potentially weak areas, other people may think it is your job to do all the work; they rely too heavily on you. You may be expected to be available at all times, know all the answers, and be at every function. Learn when to say no.
Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He will cause discouragement when the load gets heavy, and pride because your "sheep" look up to you. You may develop family problems because of too little time and attention. You may become selfish when "sheep" feed in other pastures.
HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? This gift is a great help in many areas. You may serve as a Sunday school teacher, small group leader, pastor or assistant pastor, bus captain, special ministry leader (such as youth, children, men, etc.), nursery worker or as a half-way house or other type shelter volunteer. You may consider serving as a dormitory leader in a college, orphanage, children's home, etc. Scout troops would appreciate your assistance as a den leader.
Monday, August 07, 2006
SKUBALON...AND...HOLDING IT ALL IN AN OPEN HAND
It shouldn't surprise me that Satan continues to wage war, and that he's good at it. But it is always harder i.e.., more humiliating, to admit that he has found your weakness when you are in a leadership role. I have had the privilege, as of late to be in the position where I have had to ask forgiveness and admit I was wrong. (Believe it or not this is not a novel position I find myself in. It happens daily with my husband and my children, but this is on a more grander/less intimate scale.) I say privilege because for me, someone who continues to contend with the heart-sins of pride and a critical spirit, coming face to face with my wretchedness has a cleansing affect on me. It brings me to a place where I am stripped of any self-aggrandizement my mind wishes to indulge in. As a friend said best, it puts me in the place I love to be in the most, "in the dirt at the foot of the cross". What a precious place! What a sorrowfully sweet place. To be reminded-again!-that I am nothing. That the only thing I have to boast in (as Paul so eloquently put it) is Christ crucified. Everything else is skubalon! I stepped in a pile of skubalon once-with bare feet...yeah.
I can be the most confident leader, fully prepared for every scenario. Equipped up the yazoo with contingencies, strategies and methods. If these fail, I can do the whole thing by myself. After all, it takes longer to train somebody to do something than it does to just do it yourself, and then you don't have to deal with their learning curves. But I continue to learn in deeper and deeper ways what Paul was really getting at when he says in our weakness He is strong. It is precisely at these moments of utter weakness, inadequateness, ineptness and failures; when God takes a screw-up who can not possibly______! and chooses to use them AND their failure to 1) bring glory to Himself and 2) accomplish His purposes!
All my righteousness is filthy rags, and only a girl post menstrual can fully appreciate that simile! Hah!! I love the way the bible is so graphic. Thank God for making the gospel so simple, even if it is hard to believe (see John MacArthur's book, Hard To Believe--most excellent!). That is another post. So is the next point leaning around the corner of my mind: the relevancy of the gospel. I have many thoughts on the faithfulness vs. relevancy debate...I never promise profound thoughts, just thoughts. I've gapped. Redirect.
It is the most vulnerable place to be. The place when you are face to face with your sin, and you confess that sin to others. It is past the point of justifying, shifting blame or making excuses. I don't think that there is room in that moment for pride, at least I don't believe I've ever experienced it there. I leave room for error in this as I am acutely aware that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. No one short of the One who judges our deepest thoughts and motives can ever know.
So, Zachary survived Wildwood Leadership Camp, Haiti and the Navajo Reservation, but the day he came home he almost slices off three fingers with a machete. After a trip to the emergency room, 27ish stitches, a trip to a hand specialist, surgery scheduled for Wednesday and many many talks about what the Lord is trying to teach Zach and us through this experience, I have been mulling over in my mind holding "things" in an open hand. This has been a recurring topic in our band throughout the years, as God gives and takes away. Zachary and I discussed the possibility of God using this experience to make him aware of the fact that his guitar playing could be an idol-worse case. Or just something that he must be willing to hold in an open hand before God. In his heart, allowing God to take that away if He chooses. Not inferring that we can give God the green light-that's laughable, and definitely not suggesting that God is fickle and hasn't made up His mind. Yes, a blast to the openness theology heresy. But recognizing that we have nothing, ability, personality, instinct, gift, that He hasn't given us. It is all His to do as He wills for His glory and for our good. Zachary loves playing! It probably gives him the greatest joy. He feels the closest to Jesus when he is playing/worshipping. Yet even those good amazing things that God gives us, those things that we may think define our closeness to Him. They are not HIM!! They need to be held in an open hand stretched out to God. A sacrifice to Him. I think that when we begin to close our fist and pull it to our chest it becomes skubalon. Hard lessons to learn...
It shouldn't surprise me that Satan continues to wage war, and that he's good at it. But it is always harder i.e.., more humiliating, to admit that he has found your weakness when you are in a leadership role. I have had the privilege, as of late to be in the position where I have had to ask forgiveness and admit I was wrong. (Believe it or not this is not a novel position I find myself in. It happens daily with my husband and my children, but this is on a more grander/less intimate scale.) I say privilege because for me, someone who continues to contend with the heart-sins of pride and a critical spirit, coming face to face with my wretchedness has a cleansing affect on me. It brings me to a place where I am stripped of any self-aggrandizement my mind wishes to indulge in. As a friend said best, it puts me in the place I love to be in the most, "in the dirt at the foot of the cross". What a precious place! What a sorrowfully sweet place. To be reminded-again!-that I am nothing. That the only thing I have to boast in (as Paul so eloquently put it) is Christ crucified. Everything else is skubalon! I stepped in a pile of skubalon once-with bare feet...yeah.
I can be the most confident leader, fully prepared for every scenario. Equipped up the yazoo with contingencies, strategies and methods. If these fail, I can do the whole thing by myself. After all, it takes longer to train somebody to do something than it does to just do it yourself, and then you don't have to deal with their learning curves. But I continue to learn in deeper and deeper ways what Paul was really getting at when he says in our weakness He is strong. It is precisely at these moments of utter weakness, inadequateness, ineptness and failures; when God takes a screw-up who can not possibly______! and chooses to use them AND their failure to 1) bring glory to Himself and 2) accomplish His purposes!
All my righteousness is filthy rags, and only a girl post menstrual can fully appreciate that simile! Hah!! I love the way the bible is so graphic. Thank God for making the gospel so simple, even if it is hard to believe (see John MacArthur's book, Hard To Believe--most excellent!). That is another post. So is the next point leaning around the corner of my mind: the relevancy of the gospel. I have many thoughts on the faithfulness vs. relevancy debate...I never promise profound thoughts, just thoughts. I've gapped. Redirect.
It is the most vulnerable place to be. The place when you are face to face with your sin, and you confess that sin to others. It is past the point of justifying, shifting blame or making excuses. I don't think that there is room in that moment for pride, at least I don't believe I've ever experienced it there. I leave room for error in this as I am acutely aware that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. No one short of the One who judges our deepest thoughts and motives can ever know.
So, Zachary survived Wildwood Leadership Camp, Haiti and the Navajo Reservation, but the day he came home he almost slices off three fingers with a machete. After a trip to the emergency room, 27ish stitches, a trip to a hand specialist, surgery scheduled for Wednesday and many many talks about what the Lord is trying to teach Zach and us through this experience, I have been mulling over in my mind holding "things" in an open hand. This has been a recurring topic in our band throughout the years, as God gives and takes away. Zachary and I discussed the possibility of God using this experience to make him aware of the fact that his guitar playing could be an idol-worse case. Or just something that he must be willing to hold in an open hand before God. In his heart, allowing God to take that away if He chooses. Not inferring that we can give God the green light-that's laughable, and definitely not suggesting that God is fickle and hasn't made up His mind. Yes, a blast to the openness theology heresy. But recognizing that we have nothing, ability, personality, instinct, gift, that He hasn't given us. It is all His to do as He wills for His glory and for our good. Zachary loves playing! It probably gives him the greatest joy. He feels the closest to Jesus when he is playing/worshipping. Yet even those good amazing things that God gives us, those things that we may think define our closeness to Him. They are not HIM!! They need to be held in an open hand stretched out to God. A sacrifice to Him. I think that when we begin to close our fist and pull it to our chest it becomes skubalon. Hard lessons to learn...
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Haitian Happiness!!
Well, we're back from an awesome two-week experience in Haiti!!
Phe-nom-in-al!!
I so didn't want to go home. If someone could have shipped me my girls, I would have stayed.
It is always amazing to me that when life is whittled down to survival-mode, the things that truly matter become ubiquitously clear. I find that in these times there are only two paradoxical responses. For some, sadly, it becomes all about self-preservation. The overarching concern of what they will eat next, when they will rest next. Their individual comfort and survival become all-consuming. To the other group, they choose to deny themselves. To die to their own desires for the sake of Christ. The proliferation of the gospel, the spiritual battle, equipping and encouraging the saints, become more important than what they will eat or drink. They become consumed with the desire to be God's hands and feet, and their own state is less than relevant.
I cannot begin to tell the depth of love for which I have for people I only met a few days! I miss my friends Dr. Ed, Sherrie, Antoine, Johnny, Guerline, Dorce, Joseph, Eveillard, Francis, Benjamin, Charles, and Darlin! I miss all the mothers and children we tried to help at the clinic. I pray for and wonder about the little boy critically malnourished. I wonder if he is still alive, if his mother has any way to feed her family. I hurt for the sea of humanity that I waded through, who stand at the threshold of death or worse, hell.
What we did when we were there seems so insignificant and irrelevant. But we serve an amazing God! Any tool in His hand, no matter how fragile or rusty, can be wielded in such a way as to produce marvelous results. His perfect result.
The trick is to keep living in that abandon-mode here, even among all of the affluence and apathy. We shoot ourselves in the foot with all of our conveniences and agendas, programs and modern technologies. We are blinded by the ease of life that true living is a mirage.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig
Yesterday we picked up Zachary and Zarissa from their respective camps. Zach was at Hume Lake's Wildwood camp and Zarissa was at Awana Scholarship Camp. It is so good to have the whole family back together again! I feel like a hen with all her chicks back safe and sound in the nest.
Speaking of nest, Zachary will be a junior this year. Only two more years (for sure) at home. Time has gone so fast. Today at church Dave and I heard that Zach would be sharing his testimony in the youth department. We decided to sneak in and hear him. When we walked in he was putting on his guitar and was saying some sort of introduction. I thought that he was just sharing the song as a part of his testimony. As it turned out, he was leading worship-all by himself. Jason (the junior high teacher) usually leads. Sitting there listening to him play and sing was a bit odd. The shy little boy who's voice was changing, has grown up! His playing has improved tremendously! His licks were great and transitions were smooth, his squeaks are almost all gone, but the most impressive thing to me was the quiet confidence he exuded. Not a confidence in himself, but a solid strength built on his faith in Christ. When worship was finished, pastor James told him to just stay up there and share his testimony. He went over and got his bible and came back and sat on a stool. At that moment, I could see the Kaleb factor. The way Zach "handled" the group was the same way I had seen Kaleb "handle" them. I don't know if Zach learned this from sitting under Kaleb's teaching, or if it is just familial. Zach's testimony was good, honest and relevant. The effects of God's hand upon his life was evident and unmistakable. The heavenly Father has matured him in ways we, as his earthly parents, could never do.
Zarissa had a great time too. I was worried about her, as this was her first time away from all of us. She tends to be more of a spectator in large groups-especially groups she is unfamiliar with. But she came home having made many new friends. She even had email waiting for her from some girls from camp! We missed our Riss! She is so full of crazy, off the wall life! I know it was a little hard for her to leave what she knows and feels comfortable with to experience something new, but she was glad she did! She did come home with a little something extra, mosquito bites! I couldn't believe how much they liked her skin. It reminded me of me-growing up in Michigan. Every summer I was the mosquito magnet for the Baker Acres.
It is exciting to see the many variegated ways in which God is shaping her into the person He created her to be. That's true with all of our kids.
God is so faithful! There are so many areas that we have failed in our parenting. But ultimately, the four Z's are not really OUR children, they are God's, who has loaned them to us for a time. Asking us to be faithful stewards of his property, and to represent Him to them.
We thank God for His always relevant, unavoidable and absolute Truth. We thank God for His Spirit that guides us, comforts us, intercedes for us and convicts us. We thank God for the many ways He has used our children to teach us things and mold us into a more accurate representation of His Son. We thank God for giving us exactly what we need at exactly the right time. Not a moment too soon or a moment too late.
Yesterday we picked up Zachary and Zarissa from their respective camps. Zach was at Hume Lake's Wildwood camp and Zarissa was at Awana Scholarship Camp. It is so good to have the whole family back together again! I feel like a hen with all her chicks back safe and sound in the nest.
Speaking of nest, Zachary will be a junior this year. Only two more years (for sure) at home. Time has gone so fast. Today at church Dave and I heard that Zach would be sharing his testimony in the youth department. We decided to sneak in and hear him. When we walked in he was putting on his guitar and was saying some sort of introduction. I thought that he was just sharing the song as a part of his testimony. As it turned out, he was leading worship-all by himself. Jason (the junior high teacher) usually leads. Sitting there listening to him play and sing was a bit odd. The shy little boy who's voice was changing, has grown up! His playing has improved tremendously! His licks were great and transitions were smooth, his squeaks are almost all gone, but the most impressive thing to me was the quiet confidence he exuded. Not a confidence in himself, but a solid strength built on his faith in Christ. When worship was finished, pastor James told him to just stay up there and share his testimony. He went over and got his bible and came back and sat on a stool. At that moment, I could see the Kaleb factor. The way Zach "handled" the group was the same way I had seen Kaleb "handle" them. I don't know if Zach learned this from sitting under Kaleb's teaching, or if it is just familial. Zach's testimony was good, honest and relevant. The effects of God's hand upon his life was evident and unmistakable. The heavenly Father has matured him in ways we, as his earthly parents, could never do.
Zarissa had a great time too. I was worried about her, as this was her first time away from all of us. She tends to be more of a spectator in large groups-especially groups she is unfamiliar with. But she came home having made many new friends. She even had email waiting for her from some girls from camp! We missed our Riss! She is so full of crazy, off the wall life! I know it was a little hard for her to leave what she knows and feels comfortable with to experience something new, but she was glad she did! She did come home with a little something extra, mosquito bites! I couldn't believe how much they liked her skin. It reminded me of me-growing up in Michigan. Every summer I was the mosquito magnet for the Baker Acres.
It is exciting to see the many variegated ways in which God is shaping her into the person He created her to be. That's true with all of our kids.
God is so faithful! There are so many areas that we have failed in our parenting. But ultimately, the four Z's are not really OUR children, they are God's, who has loaned them to us for a time. Asking us to be faithful stewards of his property, and to represent Him to them.
We thank God for His always relevant, unavoidable and absolute Truth. We thank God for His Spirit that guides us, comforts us, intercedes for us and convicts us. We thank God for the many ways He has used our children to teach us things and mold us into a more accurate representation of His Son. We thank God for giving us exactly what we need at exactly the right time. Not a moment too soon or a moment too late.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Naivety or Security?
Interesting thing happened the other day. My youngest daughter was riding her bike on our street (within her boundaries). Shortly after she came home an older gentleman came to our door asking if there was a cute little blonde girl who lived here who was just out riding her bike.
My immediate thought was, “Oh no, what did she do? Did she cut him off, or cross the street, or almost get hit by a car? I called Zailey to the door. I asked the gentleman if everything was okay and if she had done anything wrong. No, he said. He met her when she was riding her bike. And what a lovely, sweet and friendly gal she was. There seemed to be no point. He asked if he could call us sometime. "Not on your life", I thought. Now sirens were going off inside my head. I told him that we were home often, and he could stop by if I was home…He said he lived a few streets away, and that he walked the neighborhood a few times a week. He told me his name and then left.
I immediately called the girls over and gave them the “don’t talk to strangers” song and dance. Drilled them on what to do if a stranger approached them, and told them that I didn’t feel comfortable with that stranger coming to our door like that. I told them if they ever saw him to not give him any information about us and come right home. I quizzed Zailey on what exactly was their encounter like. What exactly was said? Zailey said that she saw him talking to one of our neighbors who is a pastor at a local church. She said, “Hello, I hope you are enjoying your summer!” And that was it.
I went to the Megan’s law website and the registered sex offenders site to look up the guy. Disturbingly, there are some (registered sex offenders) in our neighborhood. We had known about them. I showed the girls some of the pictures.
Today the man came back. Thankfully Dave was home for lunch. Dave interfaced with him. He very capably portrays the big, scary, protector, dad. The man gave him a typewritten note. Still very ambiguous, but it appeared (to Dave) he was trying to warn us that Zailey was a bit too friendly. He alluded to “losing a daughter to an automobile”. He said that he was struck by the skillful grace in which she conversed as contrasted with the way most elementary students just look to the ground and walk on by. Possibly alluding to the idea that they had been properly trained in how to interact and survive in the world today.
My first thought was, “Ah, another blow to the anti-home school argument in regards to socialization!” But as I think more on the incident, a few truths are brought to light.
We do live in a cruel and sinful world. It is not safe. And yet, as believers, we have a security, hope, and confidence that can be nothing but alien to those OF this world. We have a Father who is ever vigilant, and all-powerful. If we did not have the Lord, we would have no alternative but to live in fear and trust in our own devices and shrewdness for our protection. Because of our eternal worth in Christ Jesus, we are freed to show love to a lost and dying world. They will notice! This man noticed Zailey’s love and confidence. It was disturbing to him, possibly because he took it as naivety.
It is possible to be wise to the general wickedness of the world, and yet naïve to the details. To know that there are men and women here around us who will hurt us if given an opportunity. But to have a confidence that God is going before us and with us. If we obey Him (for Zailey, it equals obeying her parents at this age) and stay close to Him, we can walk with security, through anything.
No, God does not promise us that if we obey Him we will never come to any harm; but whatever comes to us, has come through the hand of a loving and protective God. I don’t believe that I am being a simpleton here.
We do need to be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. But, ultimately, if we are truly followers of Christ, that means, we will relinquish control and, perhaps even safety, and follow Him wherever He leads.
Would I turn my back on following Christ into a dangerous situation, to ensure my safety and security, or would I jeopardize my safety and security to follow Christ wherever He leads?
Interesting thing happened the other day. My youngest daughter was riding her bike on our street (within her boundaries). Shortly after she came home an older gentleman came to our door asking if there was a cute little blonde girl who lived here who was just out riding her bike.
My immediate thought was, “Oh no, what did she do? Did she cut him off, or cross the street, or almost get hit by a car? I called Zailey to the door. I asked the gentleman if everything was okay and if she had done anything wrong. No, he said. He met her when she was riding her bike. And what a lovely, sweet and friendly gal she was. There seemed to be no point. He asked if he could call us sometime. "Not on your life", I thought. Now sirens were going off inside my head. I told him that we were home often, and he could stop by if I was home…He said he lived a few streets away, and that he walked the neighborhood a few times a week. He told me his name and then left.
I immediately called the girls over and gave them the “don’t talk to strangers” song and dance. Drilled them on what to do if a stranger approached them, and told them that I didn’t feel comfortable with that stranger coming to our door like that. I told them if they ever saw him to not give him any information about us and come right home. I quizzed Zailey on what exactly was their encounter like. What exactly was said? Zailey said that she saw him talking to one of our neighbors who is a pastor at a local church. She said, “Hello, I hope you are enjoying your summer!” And that was it.
I went to the Megan’s law website and the registered sex offenders site to look up the guy. Disturbingly, there are some (registered sex offenders) in our neighborhood. We had known about them. I showed the girls some of the pictures.
Today the man came back. Thankfully Dave was home for lunch. Dave interfaced with him. He very capably portrays the big, scary, protector, dad. The man gave him a typewritten note. Still very ambiguous, but it appeared (to Dave) he was trying to warn us that Zailey was a bit too friendly. He alluded to “losing a daughter to an automobile”. He said that he was struck by the skillful grace in which she conversed as contrasted with the way most elementary students just look to the ground and walk on by. Possibly alluding to the idea that they had been properly trained in how to interact and survive in the world today.
My first thought was, “Ah, another blow to the anti-home school argument in regards to socialization!” But as I think more on the incident, a few truths are brought to light.
We do live in a cruel and sinful world. It is not safe. And yet, as believers, we have a security, hope, and confidence that can be nothing but alien to those OF this world. We have a Father who is ever vigilant, and all-powerful. If we did not have the Lord, we would have no alternative but to live in fear and trust in our own devices and shrewdness for our protection. Because of our eternal worth in Christ Jesus, we are freed to show love to a lost and dying world. They will notice! This man noticed Zailey’s love and confidence. It was disturbing to him, possibly because he took it as naivety.
It is possible to be wise to the general wickedness of the world, and yet naïve to the details. To know that there are men and women here around us who will hurt us if given an opportunity. But to have a confidence that God is going before us and with us. If we obey Him (for Zailey, it equals obeying her parents at this age) and stay close to Him, we can walk with security, through anything.
No, God does not promise us that if we obey Him we will never come to any harm; but whatever comes to us, has come through the hand of a loving and protective God. I don’t believe that I am being a simpleton here.
We do need to be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves. But, ultimately, if we are truly followers of Christ, that means, we will relinquish control and, perhaps even safety, and follow Him wherever He leads.
Would I turn my back on following Christ into a dangerous situation, to ensure my safety and security, or would I jeopardize my safety and security to follow Christ wherever He leads?
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Prayer for today...
O God whose will conquers all, there is no comfort in anything apart from enjoying You and being engaged in Your service; You are all in all, and all enjoyments are what to me, You make them, and no more. I am well pleased with Your will, whatever it is, or should be in all respects, and if You tell me decide for myself in any affair, I would choose to refer all back to You, for You are infinitely wise and cannot go wrong, as I am in danger of doing. I rejoice to think that all things are at Your disposal, and it delights me to leave them there. Then prayer turns wholly into praise, and all I can do is to adore and bless You! What shall I give You for all Your benefits? I am caught between the two, knowing not what to do; I long to make some return, but have nothing to offer, and can only rejoice that You do all, that none in heaven or on earth shares Your honor. I can, in and of myself, do nothing to glorify Your blessed name, but I can, through grace, cheerfully surrender soul and body to You. I know that You are the Author and Finisher of faith, that the whole work of redemption is Yours alone, that every good work or thought found in me is the effect of Your Power and Grace, that Your sole motive in working in me to will and to do is for Your good pleasure! O God, it is amazing that men can talk so much about man's human power and goodness, when, if You didn't hold us back every moment, we would be devils incarnate. This, by bitter experience, You have taught me concerning myself.
Amen
(modified from THE VALLEY OF VISION - Puritan Prayers and Devotions)
O God whose will conquers all, there is no comfort in anything apart from enjoying You and being engaged in Your service; You are all in all, and all enjoyments are what to me, You make them, and no more. I am well pleased with Your will, whatever it is, or should be in all respects, and if You tell me decide for myself in any affair, I would choose to refer all back to You, for You are infinitely wise and cannot go wrong, as I am in danger of doing. I rejoice to think that all things are at Your disposal, and it delights me to leave them there. Then prayer turns wholly into praise, and all I can do is to adore and bless You! What shall I give You for all Your benefits? I am caught between the two, knowing not what to do; I long to make some return, but have nothing to offer, and can only rejoice that You do all, that none in heaven or on earth shares Your honor. I can, in and of myself, do nothing to glorify Your blessed name, but I can, through grace, cheerfully surrender soul and body to You. I know that You are the Author and Finisher of faith, that the whole work of redemption is Yours alone, that every good work or thought found in me is the effect of Your Power and Grace, that Your sole motive in working in me to will and to do is for Your good pleasure! O God, it is amazing that men can talk so much about man's human power and goodness, when, if You didn't hold us back every moment, we would be devils incarnate. This, by bitter experience, You have taught me concerning myself.
Amen
(modified from THE VALLEY OF VISION - Puritan Prayers and Devotions)
Friday, June 16, 2006
Sunday night we had a “farewell to the graduates” time after our evening service. There were seven seniors sitting there (two were out of town). As Dave and I looked at them we were saddened! It was almost like sending off one (or more) of our own children. Some of these kids we had known since they were in grade school. We were their Sunday School teachers, Awana directors, Choir directors, and junior high staff. We told their parents when they had misbehaved in class. We watched them go from being way shorter than me to way taller than me. We listened to them work out relational conflicts, go through a variety of “crushes”, change their hairstyles and grow facial hair. We attempted to instill God’s Word into their hearts (many times to see them stare back glassy-eyed, or seem to not pay attention at all). It’s hard to describe all that we were feeling, but one predominant thought was regret. Regret that we didn’t spend more time with them. That we didn’t listen more, that we didn’t make ourselves more available, that we didn’t laugh with them more, that we didn’t savor their differences more. That we didn’t overlook more, that we didn’t confront more, that we didn’t encourage more, that we didn’t pray for them more.
As I sat there watching and listening to them I was impressed with the fact that God will have His way with us. God had grown these young people up in spite of us, not because of us. Yes, there were many opportunities that we neglected, but God will have His way. What we “become” is not the result of where we come from, what we were exposed to, who raised us, what opportunities we had, or even really how faithful we were with what we have been given. What we “become” is what God designed us to be, for the task He called us to, for the glory He plans to reveal for Himself. Perhaps I should apologize for sounding like I’m carrying the predestination banner. That is not my purpose-to weigh in on that debate here. I am not saying that we have no choice in the matter, that we are all puppets, and what we do or say has no bearing upon things. Actually, I believe that what we do and say is of great importance and has eternal value. And on of the most valuable, all-important things that we can do is to submit and humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. What I’ve been learning about humility is key here. I am convinced that humility is the key to becoming what God wants us to be. It is so very hard to die to your dreams and desires, your own plans and ambitions and say to God, “I want you to have your way in me”.
Looking at the graduates sitting there--their backgrounds so diverse, their personalities so variegated, their experiences so extreme--it was easy to see that God’s plan for each one of them is as unique as they are. But what will make the lasting and eternal success will be how freely and deeply they allow God to slay pride in them and befriend humility. How agile they become at climbing upon the altar and dying to selfish ambition, self-love and personal desires and wholly sell out to allowing God to have His way with every aspect of their lives. I have walked with Jesus long enough to see many who started out, fall away or turn back. Oh, I pray earnestly that these precious ones don’t! I pray they persevere and overcome to live a life of complete abandon of self and unwavering devotion to Christ!
As I sat there watching and listening to them I was impressed with the fact that God will have His way with us. God had grown these young people up in spite of us, not because of us. Yes, there were many opportunities that we neglected, but God will have His way. What we “become” is not the result of where we come from, what we were exposed to, who raised us, what opportunities we had, or even really how faithful we were with what we have been given. What we “become” is what God designed us to be, for the task He called us to, for the glory He plans to reveal for Himself. Perhaps I should apologize for sounding like I’m carrying the predestination banner. That is not my purpose-to weigh in on that debate here. I am not saying that we have no choice in the matter, that we are all puppets, and what we do or say has no bearing upon things. Actually, I believe that what we do and say is of great importance and has eternal value. And on of the most valuable, all-important things that we can do is to submit and humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. What I’ve been learning about humility is key here. I am convinced that humility is the key to becoming what God wants us to be. It is so very hard to die to your dreams and desires, your own plans and ambitions and say to God, “I want you to have your way in me”.
Looking at the graduates sitting there--their backgrounds so diverse, their personalities so variegated, their experiences so extreme--it was easy to see that God’s plan for each one of them is as unique as they are. But what will make the lasting and eternal success will be how freely and deeply they allow God to slay pride in them and befriend humility. How agile they become at climbing upon the altar and dying to selfish ambition, self-love and personal desires and wholly sell out to allowing God to have His way with every aspect of their lives. I have walked with Jesus long enough to see many who started out, fall away or turn back. Oh, I pray earnestly that these precious ones don’t! I pray they persevere and overcome to live a life of complete abandon of self and unwavering devotion to Christ!
Monday, June 12, 2006
The mundane is so amazing...
I have a friend who is going to India as a missionary for a year-straight from high school. Since I spent some time in India (as a missionary) she asked me to help her. My idea was to set her up with the very same missionaries I worked with 17 years ago. I knew them, I trusted them. So I began working on contacting them. Every trail was a dead end! I could not get so much as a website connected to them. Even my own sending college had nothing. It sounds a bit silly, but I did worry. Here was a young (not even 18 year old) gal planning to live for a year and serve in a country she had no previous contact with. By human estimation it was sheer foolishness. But she was sure God was calling her. And God's ways are foolishness to man, but they are always right, and infinately better.
Months passed. We established new contacts in country. Granted, we did not know these people personally, but God is orchestrating this symphony. We just need to follow the music. And we have been. She continues to remain strong in her faith, that wherever God calls you, He will go before, preparing the way and leading.
I on the other hand, I believed I needed to be the responsible, adult voice of reason. After all, you don't just blindly go into a country that you are unfamiliar with! Especially a country somewhat hostile to the gospel. You need training and prepartation. You need experience and connections! But God was teaching me, through His Word, His Spirit, and especially through the faith and determination of this young lady. It is always scary to take a leap of faith. I want to look down and make sure there is a crash pad in place. I want to know that I have done all that is humanly possible to be prepared. That is what the world teaches. That's even what the Church teaches! Do all that you can to equip yourself. But then, is that really faith? Why would God possibly call someone with virtually no experience, to walk blindly into completely unfamiliar territory?
The answer is multi-facited, I'm sure. But that that is what He is in the business of doing, I am also sure. So many Scriptures come to mind:
"In our weakness, He is strong"
"He has chosen the simple, to confound the wise"
"God's ways are not our ways"
"Not by works of righteousness that we have done, but by His grace..."
"Hidden treasures in jars of clay"
So many scriptures remain untested in my life. I fear, this is not for lack of opportunity, but for lack of opportunity seized.
Well, the Lord, gently and graciously allowed me to put my money where my mouth is. To completely back my friend in this and jump on board with God's leading. Like Esther, her attitude was God has brought me to this place (for such a time as this) and if I perish, I perish. Like Ruth, whither thou goest, I will go.
As we continued to make plans and contacts, an amazing thing happened. I was on a friend's blog catching up on her life, and there in the comments was a familiar name. The name of my old Indian missionary contact! I had no idea these two people could possibly be connected. One in California, the other in India. We established contact and the rest is history in progress.
I just have to smile. God waited to bring this contact to us until AFTER He had brought me through a lesson in trusting Him completely. He's just like that! He had the connection planned all along. He just wanted me to learn another lesson in the drastic difference of God's economy vs. man's economy. Between relying on my strength vs. acknowledging my ineptness and His strength. Between faith vs. sight.
I have a friend who is going to India as a missionary for a year-straight from high school. Since I spent some time in India (as a missionary) she asked me to help her. My idea was to set her up with the very same missionaries I worked with 17 years ago. I knew them, I trusted them. So I began working on contacting them. Every trail was a dead end! I could not get so much as a website connected to them. Even my own sending college had nothing. It sounds a bit silly, but I did worry. Here was a young (not even 18 year old) gal planning to live for a year and serve in a country she had no previous contact with. By human estimation it was sheer foolishness. But she was sure God was calling her. And God's ways are foolishness to man, but they are always right, and infinately better.
Months passed. We established new contacts in country. Granted, we did not know these people personally, but God is orchestrating this symphony. We just need to follow the music. And we have been. She continues to remain strong in her faith, that wherever God calls you, He will go before, preparing the way and leading.
I on the other hand, I believed I needed to be the responsible, adult voice of reason. After all, you don't just blindly go into a country that you are unfamiliar with! Especially a country somewhat hostile to the gospel. You need training and prepartation. You need experience and connections! But God was teaching me, through His Word, His Spirit, and especially through the faith and determination of this young lady. It is always scary to take a leap of faith. I want to look down and make sure there is a crash pad in place. I want to know that I have done all that is humanly possible to be prepared. That is what the world teaches. That's even what the Church teaches! Do all that you can to equip yourself. But then, is that really faith? Why would God possibly call someone with virtually no experience, to walk blindly into completely unfamiliar territory?
The answer is multi-facited, I'm sure. But that that is what He is in the business of doing, I am also sure. So many Scriptures come to mind:
"In our weakness, He is strong"
"He has chosen the simple, to confound the wise"
"God's ways are not our ways"
"Not by works of righteousness that we have done, but by His grace..."
"Hidden treasures in jars of clay"
So many scriptures remain untested in my life. I fear, this is not for lack of opportunity, but for lack of opportunity seized.
Well, the Lord, gently and graciously allowed me to put my money where my mouth is. To completely back my friend in this and jump on board with God's leading. Like Esther, her attitude was God has brought me to this place (for such a time as this) and if I perish, I perish. Like Ruth, whither thou goest, I will go.
As we continued to make plans and contacts, an amazing thing happened. I was on a friend's blog catching up on her life, and there in the comments was a familiar name. The name of my old Indian missionary contact! I had no idea these two people could possibly be connected. One in California, the other in India. We established contact and the rest is history in progress.
I just have to smile. God waited to bring this contact to us until AFTER He had brought me through a lesson in trusting Him completely. He's just like that! He had the connection planned all along. He just wanted me to learn another lesson in the drastic difference of God's economy vs. man's economy. Between relying on my strength vs. acknowledging my ineptness and His strength. Between faith vs. sight.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Just back from a lovely evening at the Heath's ranch back in the mountainous country. There is nothing like great food, beautiful surroundings and fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ! AHH!!
So, some things I've been digesting this week...
Eurythmics - "I was born an original sinner. I was born in original sin; and if I had a dollar bill for all the things I'd done, there'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin."
The opposite of love is apathy
The opposite of peace is war
The opposite of freedom is bondage
The opposite of loyalty is betrayal
The opposite of trust is doubt
The opposite of faith is experience
The opposite of humility is pride...
Thoughts on Pride and Humility
I know my own predispositions to pride, and in a desire to war against this I am trying to understand and "put on” humility. I want to (allow God through His Spirit and His Word) slay the beast within. So instinctively, I turn to THE ONLY source of Truth, the Scripture. I also am browsing a book by C.J, Mahaney, entitled Humility. Some great quotes that have been wonderful food for thought are as follows:
John Stott -"At every stage of our Christian development and in every sphere of our Christian discipleship, pride is the greatest enemy, and humility, our greatest friend...Pride is more than the first of the seven deadly sins; it is itself the essence of all sin."
Jonathan Edwards - "What a foolish, silly, miserable, blind deceived poor worm am I, when pride works." [Edwards constantly warned against pride, and especially spiritual pride.]
Charles Bridges - "Pride lifts one'’s heart against God and contends for supremacy"
John Calvin - "God cannot bear with seeing His glory appropriated by the creature in even the smallest degree, so intolerable to Him is the sacrilegious arrogance of those who, by praising themselves, obscure His glory as far as they can."
Is.14 references a sin predating Adam's "original" sin; the sin of Lucifer. 14:13 -"– You said in your heart, "“I will ascend into heaven; above the stars of God, I will set my throne on high." This passage which records Satan's 5 "I wills" require much more attention. The sin is obvious here, the ripple effects of the consequences will be felt until eternity.
I love this promise in Is. 66:2 - "This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at My word." God promises to pay attention to the humble, not the one who whines the most or begs the loudest.
God hates pride. I know this, but so often it just becomes a rote statement. I say it to my kids. I say it to my students. I say it to my friends. I especially have to say it over and over to myself. But on many levels, it doesn't always sink in. I am going to go meditate on these verses.
Prov. 6:16-17
Prov. 8:13
Prov. 16:5
James 4:6
1Peter 5:5
Prov.16:18
Last night during worship at youth group, I was asking the Lord to let me see my sinfulness. Not too much, lest I become hopeless and despondent, but to see it in Truth. I also asked Him to show me a bit more of His Holiness, that I might fear Him more. Not too much, lest I hide from Him and become incapacitated. What a sweet and painful time it was. God is faithful. And God is good.
So, some things I've been digesting this week...
Eurythmics - "I was born an original sinner. I was born in original sin; and if I had a dollar bill for all the things I'd done, there'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin."
The opposite of love is apathy
The opposite of peace is war
The opposite of freedom is bondage
The opposite of loyalty is betrayal
The opposite of trust is doubt
The opposite of faith is experience
The opposite of humility is pride...
Thoughts on Pride and Humility
I know my own predispositions to pride, and in a desire to war against this I am trying to understand and "put on” humility. I want to (allow God through His Spirit and His Word) slay the beast within. So instinctively, I turn to THE ONLY source of Truth, the Scripture. I also am browsing a book by C.J, Mahaney, entitled Humility. Some great quotes that have been wonderful food for thought are as follows:
John Stott -"At every stage of our Christian development and in every sphere of our Christian discipleship, pride is the greatest enemy, and humility, our greatest friend...Pride is more than the first of the seven deadly sins; it is itself the essence of all sin."
Jonathan Edwards - "What a foolish, silly, miserable, blind deceived poor worm am I, when pride works." [Edwards constantly warned against pride, and especially spiritual pride.]
Charles Bridges - "Pride lifts one'’s heart against God and contends for supremacy"
John Calvin - "God cannot bear with seeing His glory appropriated by the creature in even the smallest degree, so intolerable to Him is the sacrilegious arrogance of those who, by praising themselves, obscure His glory as far as they can."
Is.14 references a sin predating Adam's "original" sin; the sin of Lucifer. 14:13 -"– You said in your heart, "“I will ascend into heaven; above the stars of God, I will set my throne on high." This passage which records Satan's 5 "I wills" require much more attention. The sin is obvious here, the ripple effects of the consequences will be felt until eternity.
I love this promise in Is. 66:2 - "This is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at My word." God promises to pay attention to the humble, not the one who whines the most or begs the loudest.
God hates pride. I know this, but so often it just becomes a rote statement. I say it to my kids. I say it to my students. I say it to my friends. I especially have to say it over and over to myself. But on many levels, it doesn't always sink in. I am going to go meditate on these verses.
Prov. 6:16-17
Prov. 8:13
Prov. 16:5
James 4:6
1Peter 5:5
Prov.16:18
Last night during worship at youth group, I was asking the Lord to let me see my sinfulness. Not too much, lest I become hopeless and despondent, but to see it in Truth. I also asked Him to show me a bit more of His Holiness, that I might fear Him more. Not too much, lest I hide from Him and become incapacitated. What a sweet and painful time it was. God is faithful. And God is good.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I'm sick in bed today. Hopefully not for the whole day, as this is day 3 of whatever bug this is. The kids are being troopers. Zach especially is stepping up to the plate and taking care of things while I am indisposed.
I just got a note from Haiti that my niece Hannah was playing on a retaining wall and fell down 12 feet, onto a cement walkway. This could have been fatal. Praise God it was not. Praise God for the hospital right there, for Uncle Kyrk's, and Chris' quick response, for Dr. Barnard, for the x-ray technician, for the specialist who will be coming to see Hannah today!
Mom said that, had Hannah been in the states, this could not have happened so quickly. Hannah is at home laying on a board. She is in good spirits. The initial reports are that she has a crack in her backbone and some vertebrae out of alignment. They will know more today.
Life is so fragile. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the word of the Lord stands forever. It is so comforting to know that while little Hannah lies still on a board in Haiti, and Uncle Jack kneels over a toilet in the Czech Republic, and sweet Jody flies to Alabama for a new surgery to rid her of cancer, that God is in control and is working things out for our good and His glory. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
I just got a note from Haiti that my niece Hannah was playing on a retaining wall and fell down 12 feet, onto a cement walkway. This could have been fatal. Praise God it was not. Praise God for the hospital right there, for Uncle Kyrk's, and Chris' quick response, for Dr. Barnard, for the x-ray technician, for the specialist who will be coming to see Hannah today!
Mom said that, had Hannah been in the states, this could not have happened so quickly. Hannah is at home laying on a board. She is in good spirits. The initial reports are that she has a crack in her backbone and some vertebrae out of alignment. They will know more today.
Life is so fragile. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the word of the Lord stands forever. It is so comforting to know that while little Hannah lies still on a board in Haiti, and Uncle Jack kneels over a toilet in the Czech Republic, and sweet Jody flies to Alabama for a new surgery to rid her of cancer, that God is in control and is working things out for our good and His glory. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
FOR ANN:
I am setting down on paper, this account, because my dear friend Ann Harter asked me to. I shared this with the ladies in my bible study, and she, wanted to share it with her three daughters, but she couldn’t get through it “without bawling”. So here it is.
My sisters and I had come home to visit from being spread out all over the country. My faithful parents raised eight of their nine children in the house that my father built. What a blessed heritage we have. Raised by a godly husband and wife, who diligently lived out and taught us to love God and His Word! We all cherished these times when we could scrape up enough money, clear our busy schedules to return home and reconnect with our family.
The girls were sitting with mom and reflecting on life. The subject of our brother Kyle came up. He died of SIDS on his two-month birthday. We were asking mom questions about things that as a child, we didn’t think about, but now as grown women, and some of us entering parenthood, we wanted to know.
I don’t remember all the questions and answers, but one of mom’s answers was this.
“I never prayed for a healthy baby. And I will never pray for any of you to have healthy babies either. With every one of you kids, with every pregnancy I prayed one prayer consistently.
‘Lord, give me the child you have planned for me to raise. Teach me to love this child, and to teach them to love You. Please Lord, bring salvation this child. Use this child for Your glory. If this child will not love and follow You, Lord, then please take this child home to heaven before they can choose to walk away from you.’”
We were all stunned. She continued.
“All I ever wanted to be growing up was a mommy. I know that sounds silly. And I did like other things. Catching snakes, climbing trees, playing accordion, art, etc. But I loved babies! And there was nothing I desired more than to get married and have one of my very own to love and take care of.
When I was just a young girl (maybe 10 or 11) I went to an old-time revival meeting. I happened to be sitting behind a new mother with a tiny new baby, all swaddled up. I could not really concentrate on the message, because I couldn’t tear my eyes off of this new mother and her child. She was so radiant! The love that she had for her little one was manifest in every move she made. Her attentiveness, her care, her anticipation of every need and comfort of that baby, was so overwhelming and awe-inspiring to me! I spent the whole meeting watching her and the baby. Towards the end of the meeting, she put the little one over her shoulder, and eventually the baby turned its head my direction. I had been waiting the whole night to get a glimpse of this baby, so adored by this loving, gentle mother!
When I saw the face of the child, I drew in a sharp breath. Shocked. This little baby was grotesque. He had a severe clef pallet, completely disfiguring his tiny face. I sat stunned. My eyes reverted to the mother. This was no new revelation to her. Her loving countenance never changed. Her gentle hands continued to caress the baby. She shifted the child, kissed his face, and protectively cradled him in her arms.
Sitting there, enveloped in God’s Word, some truths became crystal clear to me. (And years later, God used this experience to teach me even more.) God loves me with a love far greater than this mother’s love, an eternal and perfect love. I am sinful. My sin is a distortion of God’s creation, of His image. I must look grotesque to Him sometimes. But He never shirks away from me. He planned to give that baby to that mother! He has given that mother exactly what she needs to love and care for that baby. He’s still creating something in her. His tool is that child. He is molding and protecting that child through that mother. He is revealing Himself to that little one through the love of a mother.
I prayed then; “God, if you choose to give me a child that is not perfect, I will count that as a privilege, because You will give me what I need to love and care for it. I will not demand that you do things my way. I won’t pretend to know better that You.”
God never gave me a special needs child. But with every pregnancy I prayed the same prayer. I am always deeply offended when I hear someone say, “Oh, we don’t care what it is, just as long as it is healthy!” What are they really saying, “God, don’t mess up on this one”? Is a special needs child a mess up? Or perhaps they are saying, “This is what I require to make me happy God. I know better than You.” Are physical appearance and mental health more important than God’s purposes?
What comforted me after Kyle died was the simple fact that God is The Most High God. I knew that Kyle was in heaven, and, I believe, it was God honoring the prayers of a faithful mother. If Kyle had lived, perhaps he would have chosen to turn his back forever on God.
There is something worse than death, and it is certainly not temporal/physical imperfections.”
I am setting down on paper, this account, because my dear friend Ann Harter asked me to. I shared this with the ladies in my bible study, and she, wanted to share it with her three daughters, but she couldn’t get through it “without bawling”. So here it is.
My sisters and I had come home to visit from being spread out all over the country. My faithful parents raised eight of their nine children in the house that my father built. What a blessed heritage we have. Raised by a godly husband and wife, who diligently lived out and taught us to love God and His Word! We all cherished these times when we could scrape up enough money, clear our busy schedules to return home and reconnect with our family.
The girls were sitting with mom and reflecting on life. The subject of our brother Kyle came up. He died of SIDS on his two-month birthday. We were asking mom questions about things that as a child, we didn’t think about, but now as grown women, and some of us entering parenthood, we wanted to know.
I don’t remember all the questions and answers, but one of mom’s answers was this.
“I never prayed for a healthy baby. And I will never pray for any of you to have healthy babies either. With every one of you kids, with every pregnancy I prayed one prayer consistently.
‘Lord, give me the child you have planned for me to raise. Teach me to love this child, and to teach them to love You. Please Lord, bring salvation this child. Use this child for Your glory. If this child will not love and follow You, Lord, then please take this child home to heaven before they can choose to walk away from you.’”
We were all stunned. She continued.
“All I ever wanted to be growing up was a mommy. I know that sounds silly. And I did like other things. Catching snakes, climbing trees, playing accordion, art, etc. But I loved babies! And there was nothing I desired more than to get married and have one of my very own to love and take care of.
When I was just a young girl (maybe 10 or 11) I went to an old-time revival meeting. I happened to be sitting behind a new mother with a tiny new baby, all swaddled up. I could not really concentrate on the message, because I couldn’t tear my eyes off of this new mother and her child. She was so radiant! The love that she had for her little one was manifest in every move she made. Her attentiveness, her care, her anticipation of every need and comfort of that baby, was so overwhelming and awe-inspiring to me! I spent the whole meeting watching her and the baby. Towards the end of the meeting, she put the little one over her shoulder, and eventually the baby turned its head my direction. I had been waiting the whole night to get a glimpse of this baby, so adored by this loving, gentle mother!
When I saw the face of the child, I drew in a sharp breath. Shocked. This little baby was grotesque. He had a severe clef pallet, completely disfiguring his tiny face. I sat stunned. My eyes reverted to the mother. This was no new revelation to her. Her loving countenance never changed. Her gentle hands continued to caress the baby. She shifted the child, kissed his face, and protectively cradled him in her arms.
Sitting there, enveloped in God’s Word, some truths became crystal clear to me. (And years later, God used this experience to teach me even more.) God loves me with a love far greater than this mother’s love, an eternal and perfect love. I am sinful. My sin is a distortion of God’s creation, of His image. I must look grotesque to Him sometimes. But He never shirks away from me. He planned to give that baby to that mother! He has given that mother exactly what she needs to love and care for that baby. He’s still creating something in her. His tool is that child. He is molding and protecting that child through that mother. He is revealing Himself to that little one through the love of a mother.
I prayed then; “God, if you choose to give me a child that is not perfect, I will count that as a privilege, because You will give me what I need to love and care for it. I will not demand that you do things my way. I won’t pretend to know better that You.”
God never gave me a special needs child. But with every pregnancy I prayed the same prayer. I am always deeply offended when I hear someone say, “Oh, we don’t care what it is, just as long as it is healthy!” What are they really saying, “God, don’t mess up on this one”? Is a special needs child a mess up? Or perhaps they are saying, “This is what I require to make me happy God. I know better than You.” Are physical appearance and mental health more important than God’s purposes?
What comforted me after Kyle died was the simple fact that God is The Most High God. I knew that Kyle was in heaven, and, I believe, it was God honoring the prayers of a faithful mother. If Kyle had lived, perhaps he would have chosen to turn his back forever on God.
There is something worse than death, and it is certainly not temporal/physical imperfections.”
Monday, May 22, 2006
Last night after our evening service we had a lil' ole thing we like to call AltarNative. Many aspects of Truth become clear when you ponder that title. I confess, that I am, at times, more an AltarAlien than Native. I spend more time and energy in the temporal present (alternative to Reality) than at the eternal altar (the feet of Jesus, the throne of God).
Anyway, last night was a sweet time of fellowship, of sitting at the Savior's feet and rehearsing His sacrifice, His suffering, His perfection, His holiness, His love and His example for us to follow. I could've stayed forever, and one day, I will!
It was nearly perfect, but I had to open my mouth and spit out my words in testimony. It didn't come out at all like it had been on my heart earlier that day. So, I kick myself again! It even made it worse when none of the rest of the band shared (even though Chet encouraged us to do so). So stupid me, stuck out like a sore thumb. But, Humility is a good companion for me, and I don't wish her to leave, because then I am only left with my friend Pride (who is not a good influence). I wish he would leave for good. I should have learned this lesson well by now. Stick with Scripture and song!
In spite of my foolishness, I will never grow tired of trying to get to know Him deeper! What an awesome God! I am humbled He chose me and privileged to follow Him "who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb. 12:2
Anyway, last night was a sweet time of fellowship, of sitting at the Savior's feet and rehearsing His sacrifice, His suffering, His perfection, His holiness, His love and His example for us to follow. I could've stayed forever, and one day, I will!
It was nearly perfect, but I had to open my mouth and spit out my words in testimony. It didn't come out at all like it had been on my heart earlier that day. So, I kick myself again! It even made it worse when none of the rest of the band shared (even though Chet encouraged us to do so). So stupid me, stuck out like a sore thumb. But, Humility is a good companion for me, and I don't wish her to leave, because then I am only left with my friend Pride (who is not a good influence). I wish he would leave for good. I should have learned this lesson well by now. Stick with Scripture and song!
In spite of my foolishness, I will never grow tired of trying to get to know Him deeper! What an awesome God! I am humbled He chose me and privileged to follow Him "who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb. 12:2
Saturday, May 20, 2006
The Hook
Carrie Swenson reminded me of the title of my blog. There is no Wright Way...yet. Let me explain. I created this blog initially because I wanted to post on a dear friend of mine's blog, but couldn't w/o a registered blog thingy. So, I stumbled through the create a blog screen, not intending to actually CREATE a blog spot, but just to go througt the motions enough to post on someone's blog. It asked for a title or something like that and I didn't know what to put. Previously that day I had a conversation with a friend of mine Hannah Wright. Our families are really good friends and we were making spoof's on our names. Her siblings and my daughter were talking about having a band and naming it The Wright Way. So, hence the name. Another funny thing Hannah said. She said it would be funny to go from being Hannah Wright and marry someone with the last name Wong, so she would go from being Wright to Wong. That Hannah! She makes me smile.
Tired now, Three of the four Z's played soccer today. It's hard work-cheering. We also went rock climbing at Bishop Peak today. Good times. I miss Zailey, though.
Carrie Swenson reminded me of the title of my blog. There is no Wright Way...yet. Let me explain. I created this blog initially because I wanted to post on a dear friend of mine's blog, but couldn't w/o a registered blog thingy. So, I stumbled through the create a blog screen, not intending to actually CREATE a blog spot, but just to go througt the motions enough to post on someone's blog. It asked for a title or something like that and I didn't know what to put. Previously that day I had a conversation with a friend of mine Hannah Wright. Our families are really good friends and we were making spoof's on our names. Her siblings and my daughter were talking about having a band and naming it The Wright Way. So, hence the name. Another funny thing Hannah said. She said it would be funny to go from being Hannah Wright and marry someone with the last name Wong, so she would go from being Wright to Wong. That Hannah! She makes me smile.
Tired now, Three of the four Z's played soccer today. It's hard work-cheering. We also went rock climbing at Bishop Peak today. Good times. I miss Zailey, though.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Haiti or Bust!!
We had another Haiti Team meeting tonight. This is one of our promo pictures that we use in the pre-service slide shows at church. Thanks to Crisha for filling in at the last second to take the picture. Dawn Elder was going to be our photographer that night, but John (her husband) had to go to the hospital with kidney stones. We pray everything comes out OK.
Tonight my little angel left for Florida with Grandma and Grandpa Way and cousin Preston. I already miss her! She is such a sparkle! I know she will have a blast. Her and Preston are great friends. They are so cute together. Preston, who is just a year older than Zailey is her self-made protector. He's like a little old man! Taking his role as Zailey's guardian very seriously. I remember when they were in preschool together (at Grandma's house). They were riding to the store with Grandma, two peas in a pod, sitting in the back seat. They were unaware of the world around them, deeply engrossed in planning out the rest of their lives. They were discussing what each of their roles would be when they were grown up and married (to each other). Deja vu! Didn't Anita want to marry Klynt-until she found out it was illegal for first cousins? Anyway, Preston was planning on making all of the furniture for their house. After all, his dad liked to build things, and Preston had learned by watching. Zailey didn't want to
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I am reluctantly taking my first step into the blogworld. I like what my friend Jenn calls it. blaagg! So as I embark on this journey I will say (to myself) my purpose in this endeavor. It is not to communicate to others, (since I will give my site address to no one) as much as it is to record my happenings and thoughts (and that shouldn't take much) for the purpose of posterity. I would like to imagine that when I am dead (DED) my children will find this and have a rememberance of their loon of a mother. I used to journal the old fashioned way, but I am not completely opposed to modern conviences... so here goes.
Note to self: remember that your "s" key on your laptop sticks, it could be potentially offensive.
Note to self: remember that your "s" key on your laptop sticks, it could be potentially offensive.
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