Santa Barbara Train Trip

We had a great day hanging out with friends in Santa Barbara. Inspiring and encouraging conversation on the train. An enlightening visit at Karpelli's manuscript museum. And of course, shopping!!

Dave and Zach enjoying Chipotle-a can't miss when in SB.



I don't have enough room to put all of the pics, but to those of you who joined us, thank you for your friendship and fellowship.

Book Review

Finished a book this week. One that was not on the list of books I had started in Feb. Dealing With Dragons (I was previewing it for one of my girls).
Story line: Princess runs away from her kingdom and volunteers herself in servitude to a (female) dragon-who coincidentally is the smartest and strongest dragon and eventually becomes king. The princess rebuffs rescue attempts by many princes, uncovers a plot by the wizards to steal all the magic, has a hand in rescuing other princesses captured by dragons, saves a stone prince, befriends a "good" witch, and saves the dragon kingdom.
So, my critical survey of the technique (keep in mind it is juvenile fiction): Definitely a female take on the personalities and culture of dragons (focusing on emotion and character). Whimsical yet safely adventurous. A small ripple of feminism (the men were mostly stupid and the heroine redefined her role). Most of the dialogue was filled with anachronisms which irritated me. The overall zeitgeist was not cohesive or believable.

The Fork in the Road

I am heart broken today. I learned yesterday, that a friend of mine, who lives far away, is thought (by mutual friends in geological proximity) to have "fallen away". I am completely stunned! This friend, whom I will call Mary, has been a great spiritual mentor of mine. Someone I respected personally and professionally. Someone who oozed Christlikeness, integrity, compassion, commitment and joy in the Lord. I walked closely with Mary for about seven years, then we moved away. I was still able to admire her life from a distance. It was always a blessing to see how Mary and her husband, (also a dear friend) served the Lord. Consistently. Quietly. Steadfastly. Their marriage and ministry was so encouraging and gracious. They were such an obvious road sign pointing to Jesus.

Mary's husband died a few years ago. I cannot begin to understand how hard it was for her. What emptiness and sadness she must have tasted. Yet what a beautiful testimony of the body of Christ and His loving arms enfolded around her. She grieved and rejoiced as her beloved was now in the presence of the Most High. She anticipated her reunion with yearning, yet she knew God kept her here for a purpose. Many brothers and sisters buoyed her up in fellowship, prayer and support. From far away I witnessed a beautiful working of the body of Christ, in caring for and nourishing a languishing cell. Ahh! the body at work protecting, restoring and strengthening! Mary seemed to be walking through the valley, leaning on the Shepherd. At times walking ahead, and at times being carried, but all the while moving up the path with the Savior. Then there was no news, no communication. And then, the news that friends believed she had fallen away. She had removed herself from fellowship. She didn't return calls, messages, emails. She had a new group of friends, unsaved friends.

When I was told, I wept. Oh I pray it's not true!! I plead with heaven that my friends are wrong. I beat my breast and say how could this be? How could one, once so dependant on the Lord for their every breath turn their back on Him who offers the ONLY hope, protection, blessing and goodness in this life and the next? Yet as I ask the Lord these unfathomable questions, I know from past experience, that it does happen. I have seen more than one friend turn away from the Lord. Every time it hurts deeply. Every time I TRY to comprehend, but to no avail.

Chet and I talked about this just the day before. We were discussing obedience and heart motivation. Although we do not always see eye to eye (what can you expect when you put Master's and Westmont in the ring together) on some issues, we are brother/sister in the Lord. We are family and we love and respect each other as little christs. In discussing this issue, we agreed that at some point in the Christian life (and probably at many, many times) we come to a fork in the road. A place where we realize we simply cannot DO this anymore. This, meaning living the Christian life-doing the things of Christ. It is a crisis of faith. Perhaps a point of exhaustion, fatigue and despondency. Perhaps not. At this fork we have one of two ways to go.

1. Throw our exhausted body face down at the feet of Jesus and say, "I can't do it anymore. I am a complete and utter screw up! I have tried everything and I simply can't go another step." In doing this we fully realize that this life of obedience to Christ means that Christ will have to live His goodness, His power, His love, His mercy, His justice vicariously THROUGH us and IN us, because we know that we have none of it. We can not do it. So we, in humility, ask Him to live through us. We surrender and die and allow Him to live in us. Then we get back up, propelled by His Spirit, buoyed by His love, led by His Word and start walking (all the while knowing that it is really Him walking in our feet).

Or, 2. We give in to our frustration and despondency and we quit. We say, "I have tried for years! I have begged the Lord to... and He has not. Either He isn't real or He just doesn't care about me. I quit. It's too hard." And we pick ourself up and walk away.

Oh God, I pray that that is not what Mary did.

Enchanted trip to Hollywood

We had such an amazing time! I am so thankful to the Lord for blessing Zailey with such beautiful friends who encourage her in her walk with the Lord. I am so thankful to the Lord for Jenn Allen and her leadership and organization of the 5th and 6th grade girls bible study. I am so thankful to Zailey for inviting Zoei and I to join her (in celebration of Zoei's 15th birthday)!

To be a Nosmo

I've been thinking a lot about Jesus' visit to Nazareth (Mark 6). His reception was less than welcoming-to say the least. It is hard for me to fathom the Son of God, second member of the Trinity allowing Himself to be born into such a low family surrounded with such scandalous intrigue. After all, the All-knowing God of the universe could have been born into a family of influence, power and respect. He could have chosen a more polished veneer, he could have chosen to be the son of a scholar and receive the very best education. He could have opted to grow up with princes and noblemen. Why did he choose a lowly carpenter, why did he set himself up to be pegged as that poor bastard boy?

I remember reading a story of a journalist tasked with writing about the most insignificant man he could find. After much searching, he found the perfect candidate. He began interviewing the man, his few friends and family. During the course of the interview with the man's mother, he asked how she came up with the unusual (and as such, the most interesting part of the man) name, Nosmo King. The mother confessed that she was illiterate. Upon the birth of her son, and the consequent filling out of the birth certificate, she copied from a sign which read No Smoking. That is insignificant.

But Jesus set an example for us. He chose to wrap His very Godness in insignificance. He chose 12 very insignificant men. Why? Because He is jealous of His own glory. His Sovereignty demands it. It is only through weakness and frailty that the power of God can be manifest to humanity.

We are jars of clay. Privy pots, carrying around within ourselves the very high and magnificent, most eternally precious treasure in all earth and heaven!

Forgive me Lord, for desiring to be Someone, when I should be content to be a Nosmo so You can be clearly seen by all.

Delete...Add

Tonight I did something very bittersweet. I had to delete from my address book, my dear friend, Jody's address, phone and email. My computer asks me, "Are you sure you want to permanently remove this contact from your address book?" How sad.
Permanently remove. I paused and thanked the Lord for sweet Jody, and for the impact that she had on my life. She had such a vibrant, contagious love for the Lord! Always a smile, even when she was tired.

But what a sweet thought! Jody has a new address! A permanent address that can never be deleted.
I am so happy to think that dear Jody is having the party of her life. She was joined last week by Doc Maxon. What a man! I know that Doc and Jody will have some great times together. Perhaps Jody's luxurious alto voice and Doc's resonating baritone will mingle in perfect harmonies that cause a more Blessed Face to smile...no doubt. I am jealous. Oh to be in the very presence of my Master! To have the yearning in my soul silenced. To be rid of the distractions. To be ALL THERE!!! I can't wait!

Yes, it has been a long time. It is relatively safe to assume that I have come out of hibernation at last. The sun is shining and Zailey and I are on our way to the beach. Bible study is resuming and I feel alive again. I am so excited about our upcoming journey through the gospel of Mark!!

I decided that I would keep a running list of the books that I am reading. Perhaps this will encourage me to finish some before starting more. This is my list of completed (yeah!) books for January...

The Idiot - Fyodor Dostevsky
The Kite Runner - Khaled Husseini
Humility - C J Mahaney
Feminine Appeal - Carolyn Mahaney
It Couldn't Just Happen - Richards
Mara, Daughter of the Nile - McGraw
Hittite Warrior - Williamson
God King - Williamson
The Trojan War - Coolridge
Archimedes and the Door of Science - Bendick
The Quest for Character - MacArthur
The Westminster Shorter Catechism - Williamson


Here is what I am currently reading in the month of February...

Total Truth - Nancy Pearcey
Resurrection - Tolstoy
Christian Parenting - Glenn Latham
The Gospel of Mark (Commentary) - Edmond Hiebert
Lincoln On Leadership - Donald Phillips
The Journals of Jim Elliot - Elliot
Evolution:The Grand Experiment - Werner
Agustus Caesar's World - Foster
Foxe's Christian Martyrs of the World

Is Patience Highly Overrated?

Can you believe this!! I usually don't do this. As a matter of fact, my kids would tell you that I don't really know how-but miracle of miracles-I took this picture. Yes, with my phone, while I was driving. That in itself is a monumental achievement (and completely stupid-I know).

I was struck with the caption. PATIENCE IS OVERRATED.

It never ceases to amaze me just how messed up this world is. According the the sage philosophy of our time, immediate gratification is the secret to success and happiness.

Grab all you can.
Pull yourself up by your own bootstrap.
Just do it.
Be all that you can be.
If it feels good do it.

When happiness or success eludes us we have a grown-up temper tantrum. Of course, you don't see 40 yr olds throwing themselves on the pavement of the gas station kicking, screaming, and crying because they have to wait in a line, but in essence, our society is laden with adult temper-tantrums. Adult temper tantrums are: "irreconcilable differences" divorces, frivolous lawsuits, anger-management workshops, therapy, "me" time, no-hassle loans, exorbident credit limits... Cloistered in respectable labels and looking grown-up, masquerade the infantile tantrums that are borne from a selfish and undisciplined heart. The world would tell us, "There is nothing wrong here; speed, ease, and express, these are all vital in our day and age. It is but another proof that we live in a highly evolved and civilized society."

But to those of us who march to the beat of That Great Ubiquitious Drum, nothing is further from the truth.
But for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.
God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
Let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
This is contrary indeed!

Haiti truly is a country of contrasts

In the two day trip with Kyrk, I was so suprised by all of the diversity. The landscape and geography, the climate and vegetation, the people, and the resources were all so varied. It is still amazing to me that on one island there exists two countries as different as night and day.



This city, Goniaves, was submerged in 8 feet of water two years ago. Kyrk said that just two weeks after the hurrican hit, and as soon as the water subsided that the people were quietly shoveling mud out of thier homes, trying to pull together what little resources they had left to sell at market. Life went on. What a contrast to New Orleans! Some of them are still whining and begging for government hand outs!



This is at Ft. Jaques. On our way back, you can see the contrast to the previous pictures.

Here in Haiti

Thought I'd send a few pics to let you all know that we're alive and well. We made it safely to Haiti, although we had many delays, missed a flight and had to shuttle to Miami from Ft. Lauderdale. A few days ago a big group of us walked up to Ft. Jauques. The UN soldiers were so taken aback with blonde-headed Americans that they begged their picture be taken with the blondest of us-Zailey. We were so shocked when they thrust a machine gun into her hands for the picture. The next man unholstered his hand gun for Zailey to hold. (Don't be upset Dave-he didn't let her put her finger in the trigger-hold.) I love the diversity of cultures!

Pressing On and Praying

Yes, I'm back!! Not that anything highly important was keeping me away--just everyday life. This is the crazy time of the year. However, that description does not distinguish it from any other time in my life. Tomorrow the kids have their open house and they are finishing off some projects to display. We have three more weeks of school, and it is extremely challenging to stay on task when all we want to do is play!!
I just wrapped up our bible study for the summer. As always, it was extremely challenging, revealing, and encouraging. I was in a very uncomfortable spot (again). Something outside of my comfort zone--something new for me. In March, our leadership team met together to pray and seek God's direction as to what we should study next. We had just finished a weighty and very raw study through Ephesians. Knowing we had only a few short months before summer, we knew we needed something shorter and perhaps lighter. Those of you who know me know I don't do "lighter" very well. Thank God for my sisters who balance me out! God lead us to a book, "Faithful Women and Their Extrordianary God" by Noel Piper. I would not have been naturally drawn to this for a bible study. First of all, it was not a book of the bible. Secondly, it had no study guide. But God revealed to me, through the wisdom of my sisters, that this was what the women needed at this time. The book chronicles, in biographical style, the lives of five ordinary women, used by God in amazing ways. As we went through the chapters, I wrote a study guide for each one. I was so inspried and convicted by the testimonies of these faithful women. I highly encourage you to read this book! I am always amazed at the ways in which God works to accomplish His refining work in the lives of the women I am privileged to know. I am doubly amazed when He chooses to work through me to do this. I know intimately what an impure vessel I am! Anyway, I was and continue to be blessed and humbled by the privilege of leading this study.

God again had a wonderful treat for us. We finished the book on Friday and the very next day our church had a women's retreat featuring the guest speaker, Noel Piper. Very cool!

We are preparing to leave for Haiti soon! In four weeks I am taking the kids in country for six weeks. I cannot tell you how excited we all are for this opportunity. We have been learning much of the country and culture of Haiti (benefit of homeschooling), However, I know that nothing can truly prepare them for the experience in a third world country. They have no idea how rich we are! I have been praying specifically for them. First, that God would strip them of any idols of the heart (vanity, materialism, self-confidence). Secondly, that He would captivate them! That they would indeed become cardonated Christians (Luke 6:38)--passionate for His Glory! Thirdly, that they would learn how to truly love others. This is the essence of the gospel: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Lastly, that the abstemious lifestyle of a Haitian missionary would be something so desirous, as to ameliorate our apathetic and comfortable hearts, not only when in Haiti, but when we return home as well.

sabatical in sickness

This past week I was sick. And praise the Lord, it was wonderful! No, I am not a massochist nor am I emo. Whatever this thing is/was it knocked me out of commission. I spent three days not able to get out of bed. It is a strange thing, being there but not really there. I could hear life happening around me. Time seemed to move so slowly.
The first day I wasted wallowing in my misery. I slept, read a book and watched a movie. The kids did their homework quietly and brought me tea.
The second day, I was frustrated. I felt guilty for not being able to do what I thought I was supposed to do. I could hear everything that was happening. I needed to be out there to correct, admonish, instruct, interceed...what would happen without me? Who would clean up, tell them not to eat that because it had no nutritional value, stop them from eating in the family roon, check their homework, remind them for the 10,000th time not to put their shoes on the couch and get their clean clothes off of it?
But the third day. The third day I woke up just as miserable, just as weak, but with a longing in my heart to spend that day with the Lord. I did. It was a beautiful day. I purposed in my mind to count this all joy, and truly it was. It is another one of those paradoxes. While I lay in my bed sweating and freezing with a fever, every joint in my body in pain, the back of my head feeling like it would explode, I was thanking my Lord for the privilidge of sitting at his feet. I was basking in the joy of knowing Him and being loved by Him. Oh, there were moments of grief, when he gently showed me my sin, but no moments of abandonement, no moments of hopelessness. Only the presence of the Lord, the peace that passes all understanding, the knowledge of His Sovereign rule in my life, the assurance that He who began a good work will bring it to completion.
People often say, "I would never wish that on anyone". I don't think that I will say that anymore. I wouldn't trade my whole day with the Lord, including the pain, which made the joy of His presence that much sweeter.
"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of various kinds, knowing that the testing of your faith develops perseverence." -James 1:2-3

You are MARVELous

This past weekend Dave and I went to his 20th high school reunion. No, we are not old! And twenty isn't that long ago-anymore. It was a great time. Dave had a blast with his old schoolmates. He went to a private christian high school in LA.The most amazing thing to me is that most of them are still walking with the Lord! His graduating class was about 100. Out of those 100, two have died. One was divorced but remarried his wife three years later. I think there were only three single. The rest happily married-or so they say. Some of these people had gone all the way through school together. Some of their old teachers were now teaching the children of graduates.

This caused me to think back on my school carreer. To remember those people who shapped my thinking and being. One of the most influential people in my life (aside from my parents) was not a teacher-even though I spent more time in the classroom than out of it. It was a lady from my dad's church.

Anut Marvel is a blessed creature! She has the rare gift of making even the most mundane and trival thing so deeply moving and profound. To a hard heart, Aunt Marvel is a silly sappy woman. And for many years I was that hard heart. I rolled my eyes as she held my dad's arm with tears in her eyes, her little wadded-up kleenex in her hand, telling him what a beautiful service that was and what a wonderful message that was and wasn't the Lord so abundantly good.....Dramatic, flighty, weepy, weak. But to a tender heart, Aunt Marvel is the voice of love and truth. She is a sensitive and compassionate woman. A woman who loves the Lord ferverently. A humble woman who recognizes her place before God and His rightful place in and out of the universe. She is someone who does not build up walls. Therefore the Word can penetrate quickly and deeply, affecting change almost instantaneously. Everything touches her! She has not lost the joy of life. When she looks at something, it is as if she is seeing for the first time. When she smells something, it is the sweetest smell known to man! When she hears a song of worship, not only does it sound flawless to her ears, her heart sings along in perfect harmony!

She is the anthesis of a critical spirit. When she hurts, she does not hide or cover it up. She does not wallow in self pity or blame others. She simply loves the Lord and leans on Him in those painful times of trial. She seems to be completely unconcerned by what others think. She lives simply in the present. Not ignoring the past, but not carrying it around, and not anxious for the future. Just living every moment in joy and thankfulness.

More and more I find myself wanting to be aMarvel(er). Someone who is awed by the marvelousness of the Lord and His goodness. Someone who marvels at every manifestation of God's grace to a sinful being. Every precious moment has within it something to marvel at. To weep at the beauty of the Creator revealed in His creation. To bask in the illumination of the Word. To dance with joy over the repentant brother or sister. To sob with gut-wrenching sorrow over misrepresenting the Most High. To squeel in delight over the blessings of Jesus....

A few weeks ago we were on a train trip to Santa Barbara. Actually, we were coming back in the evening heading north right along the coast. All of the sudden a loud vioce filled the train car. "Praise Jesus! Look at that beautiful sunset!! PRAISE JESUS!!" It was our Pastor Greg, who was so overcome with thankfulness to God for His abundant beauty, that he spontaneously gave a shout out to God. I smiled in my seat and thought, "There is another Aunt Marvel. Praise Jesus!"

Worship without Retreat

Worship is a such a privelige! Yesterday we had the privilege of experiencing three corporate worship services. The first was with our own body. Worst of Sinners lead worship as usual in the first service at our local church. This is usually a sweet and intimate time, humbling ourselves before the throne of God. What wonderful communion in anticipation of heaven!

The second opportunity was with a completely unknown body of believers. A sister church at a point of transition and change in their ministry. This was an opportunity for us to encourage and support our brothers and sisters. We did not know what to expect. Would they welcome us, a bunch of strangers, leading them in worship? Graciously they did. We were blessed and they were blessed. God was, as always, the hero.

The third was back at our home church sitting among our close friends worshiping together in prayer and the study of God's Word. Always rich and good.

All three were different, and yet, at all we were worshiping the very same God. Our goal is always to worship in Spirit and in Truth. That it would be an acceptable offering to God. A sweet smelling aroma.

Then there is the daily, moment by moment, private worship. The worship in prayer and life lived. The daily living out of our life, IS worship. This worship, I think, flushes out what you truly believe about God. It shows how saturated your heart and mind is with the Word of God. It is this moment-by-moment, living worship that shows where the blank spots are in the canvas of your life. The places and attitudes and areas where we are not surrendered to The Master Painter. The places where we are unyeilding to His brush. Closed to His color. Sadly, there are many more of these blank spots in my life than I would like to admit.

Today I feel a little like Elijah after defeating the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel. In the aftermath of this truly amazing taste of God's awesome power, Elijah was chased away by Jezebel and her empty threat. He had witnessed God's mighty hand. He had been confirmed in his ministry by the Sovereign Lord of all creation. He stood against many devoted and powerful men, only to run in fear, from a woman!

Why is it so hard to live out what I say I believe in the trenches of the daily battle? It is not That the enemy is too powerful, it is, I think, that I stop being alert. I let down my guard. I retreat for a little R&R, thinking I just experienced a victory and now I deserve a rest. Only to find, again and again, this is Satan's most opportune time for attack.

Oh, that I could worship consistently, without retreating! That would be victory. To overcome. To persevere. To finish the fight.

The Running Man

I’ll tell you a story about a guy and a girl. As any teenage love story goes, they thought, “This is it! This is real, This is forever.” Time went by, and the guy decided that she wasn’t the one for him. She was devastated. He went on to greener pastures. The heartache for her was almost beyond bearing, but he could toss her a casual smile.

Years went by. It took years for her to trust, to let go, to love. But she did. It was right and good. She found her lifelong mate. She grew stronger and her love grew deeper. Together, they met each challenge.

He found someone, possibly his forever. But when hard times came, he would escape into work, a hidden fantasy or relationship. Comitment was more of a convenient option.

You ask yourself why. You may ask what if? There are many answers to these questions. What if they had stayed together? Would it have lasted? What if his heart had been broken, would he have been stronger? Put aside the argument that God has one person for you, a perfect mate, would it have stood the test of time? Probably not.

Many times, the development of character (in particular the character of commitment/love) comes only through pain. Many lessons in life are learned through heartache. Maturation thrives in the hot house of pain. When strongholds in our life crumble, and we are left standing empty-handed and broken-hearted, we suddenly realize we are free to reach up to God. Many times we are humiliated. And humility's perspective is very clear.

We are stripped of life’s comforts and (false) securities. And we realize that God has not left us. He has always been there. God cannot help but love us. Not because we are so good or lovely, but because God IS love. It is not just a word that describes Him. It is His essence. It is who He is. He defines love, and He cannot help but to love us because we are SO in need of His love.

It is through pain that our hold on the superficial and temporal is weakened, and our grasp on the real essence of forever is strengthened. We know this, yet, it is so hard for us to embrace the pain and suffering instead of running from it.

I think I will always run…hopefully, not as fast.

Kami's new haircut

since she wouldnt post pictures, i took the liberty

to muse about

So we are in the middle of a huge project. Writing six years of Bible curriculum for all the Baptist Haiti Mission Schools (about 350 or so schools in the country of Haiti). It is a group effort. But as I do my small part, the Lord is revealing His character to me in new and powerful ways.

I was working on writing the story of Sodom and Gomrrah. Something jumped out at me. Gen. 19:14. When Lot goes to warn his two son-in-laws that the city is about to be destroyed and they needed to get out fast. The two men thought Lot was joking. (To laugh out loud in merriment or scorn) Interesting.

Why do you think that was? Was Lot just a practical joker? That theory doesn't quite sit well with his being one of the cities leaders-sitting at the city gates. Or was Lot characterized by making a mockery of God?

Weigh in please...

Back in with the old

Sorry about the confusion everyone. I will continue this blog site. Dave was the phantom blogger (see last post). He somehow figured out what needed to be done to get me into this year and the new version of blogger. I will try to delete the other spot.

Thanks for being patient everyone!! More to follow!

Back to Blogging

Well, I've had some difficulty making the jump to the new blogger/google blog format...

But I'm back, so I'll leave some real news soon. By the way, I did return safely from Hawaii and I'm now marooned back in California.

Off to Hawaii

As I hurriedly prepare for our departure tomorrow, I felt the need to take a moment and take a deep breath. Sure we are all excited about the trip! Christmas in Hawaii! We enjoy being together as a whole extended family. We enjoy adventure and traveling, exploring and trying new things. But I would really like this time to be purposeful in a spiritual sense.

I desire specifically to be an instrument of love, kindness and service to my family.
I pray that my children would die to self and WANT to serve others.
I pray that it would bring joy to their hearts to see others happy.
I pray that we would be a light to those living in darkness.
That we would each have the opportunity to share the gospel with someone we meet.
I pray that we would come back more aware of the goodness of our great God and Savior.